I spend my free time making 16-bean soup. Why? Because I'm a total fucking loser with no friends here, and I have nothing better to do, that's why.
I'm definitely afraid that at the end of this 6-year college stint I'm going to hit adulthood and be bitter that I never had the typical college experience. I've never been invited to a party, never played beer pong, never just gone out on a Friday night.
I feel like this is something I should be doing at this age and I'm not.
Most day's I'm fine with this. The vast majority of days really. But every now and again I wish I wasn't so fucking responsible. Every now again I wish I could go out and just get trashed, stumble back to my room at 3am then sleep till two in the afternoon.
There are some days I wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with when I was 16. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy with the relationship I have, and I wouldn't want anything else. Sometimes I just wonder though. What it would be like to just date someone else. To go out and try to get guys to get me a drink. To be hit on and flirt back.
The last time I went on a date with someone other than Drew, I was still in the "OMG let's go to the mall and hold hands teehee" stage.
I have absolutely no desire to actually be with someone else. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would just feel sick the whole time. I just wonder.
Jill, it's turning into Fall here. It can't hold a candle to Fall at home. You should take lots of pictures for me. Utah Fall is definitely the thing I miss the most after people at home.
As soon as Fall starts showing up, I will take lots of pictures for you! It's starting to feel like it, though!
ReplyDeleteThere are some college experiences that I think are a must...definitely going out on a Friday night and to parties are two of them. I know it's hard and it's great you're responsible but please remember there is NOTHING wrong with going out and playing. Just be careful who you surround yourself with and you should be totally fine!
You know, when I came to college I decided that if there was something that I thought I may regret not doing, I would do it just so I never had the "what if's". I've had so many great experiences that way, although one of the scariest things to overcome was going to a party full of people I didn't know. It's ridiculously intimidating! But it's also one of those things that you just have to close your eyes and leap into. I know that you are
ReplyDeleteI know that you have a crazy busy schedule, but if you ever don't have to work on a Saturday or Sunday morning, go out the night before! I know that there are people you know in Milwaukee, like your AT peeps, Mara, Dallas, etc. I know that you may not love all the people you know already, but the point of going to a party is to meet new friends!! Although do avoid the frat boys who sings about sluts...that is a bad sign. :)