PACKING!!

YAY I WILL BE HOME FOR A MONTH SOON AND ALSO IT'S SARAH'S BIRTHDAY TODAY AND SHE'S TURNING TWENTY-ONE SO I'M GLAD SHE IS DONE WITH FINALS TODAY AND DOESN'T HAVE ANY TOMORROW AT EIGHT AM AND ALSO I WILL SEE HER IN LIKE THREE DAYS WHICH IS GREAT AND WE WILL GO TO OLIVE GARDEN AND GET ENDLESS SALAS AND CHELSEA WILL BE THERE AND HOPEFULLY LITTLE SARA TOO!

excited Michelle = loud with a tendency for run-on sentences

I'm really not sure what has driven me to start eating green beans for breakfast. Either some sort of cosmic force or the fact that I'm not getting enough of whatever vitamin/mineral green beans contain. Probably both.
Also, I like green beans. It's an excellent way to start the day, and a wonderful break from oatmeal.

I just need to get through Therapeutic Exercises, work at the bookstore for 4 hours, the men's soccer dinner (I know it's at 8:30 tonight, but WHERE is the question), and physics. Then it's home free.

2 days

I've graduated from making posters to hang on my walls to making posters for my friends to hang on their walls. I don't know why he seemed so impressed with it, all I do is grab like 7 posters that we have sitting in the union of various teams and color on the back with markers.
I guess if it makes your walls less boring it works.

In approximately two hours I will be done with religion class forever. How wonderful!

Post # 325

I like candles. Especially these two, which both smell of Bath and Body's Warm Vanilla Sugar, which is possibly the best scent ever. Well, best scent from B&BW anyway. I think the best scent ever has to go to the way Drew smells right after he gets out of the shower. That mix of soap and deodorant and his cologne is just wonderful. I smelled someone who smelled like Drew in the library the other day. He walked by and I got a whiff of the air the swirled by and I was like *BUHGUHWHATISTHATWHOISTHATDUUHHHHH* while my head reeled and I did a double/triple/big-eyes-look-around-while-swaying-back-and-forth-thing.
But I digress.
The point of lighting candles is also that I have to pay for my electricity, so I find it very efficient to only leave the lamp on my desk on most of the time and just have a candle sitting on my dresser and one of my night stand.

It was very cold today.
The kind of cold where you go outside and think, "Ok, this is not comfortable but I only have 4 blocks to walk and I am sufficiently layered." Then the wind blows and hits your exposed face and ears and you start to think you would SELL YOUR VITAL ORGANS IF THAT WOULD MAKE THE WIND STOP.
Seriously. Fuck the wind. Have you ever heard anyone say their favorite weather is windy? No, you have not.

Remember at the beginning of the year when I mentioned I liked working at the bookstore cause it was simple and monotonous and I didn't have to think about it? I'm there again for a few days, this time I'm helping receive shipments of books for next semester and check them into the system and put them on the shelves.
AND I HATE EVERY SECOND OF IT.
I think it's cause I spend so much time ENJOYING working with men's soccer and being in the training room in general. Once again I know what it's like to enjoy a job and so it's overwhelmingly horrid when I'm stuck somewhere I don't want to be, knowing that THERE IS SOMETHING BETTER OUT THERE FOR ME.
But I'll make about $75 which will help pay for Christmas gifts this year.

Speaking of money, within the last five days I:
Paid rent for December and Janurary
Bought Drew's Christmas gift
Bought Drew's gift for our Anniversary (four years, wow!)
Bought some "I <3 MU Athletic Training" shirts (they're supposed to be like the I love NY ones)
So when I checked my bank account to make sure my rent check got cashed (and have documentation for it if they try to make me pay for January) it was kind of sad to see the balance over a thousand dollars less than it was a week ago. And it's not like the money isn't in there, it is. It's not like if it didn't all leave at once, the same amount wouldn't have been taken out over the next two months if I was here to give them a check for January rent. It's not like I don't expect to have anymore than $500 to my name by the time the school year is over and am planning on building the balance back up next summer. Cause all the money in there is for rent, and I will make money for next year's rent over the summer. That's how my finance works right now.
But man, that's a lot of money to have gone in less than a week.
On the plus side, I've been covering a bunch of youth club soccer games that are being played at Marquette (inside, don't worry!) every Saturday. One of our assistant coaches is the coach for one of these teams, so he asked us students if we wanted to work them. I was the only person to say yes, so there you go. I sit and do homework or read all day on Saturday and every now and then give a kid some ice and tell him that nothing is broken. The check I get from that will come in February after the league is over and it should be for about $800 or so. Which is quite a bit of money for me right now.

I called Hand and Ortho two weeks ago to remind my supervisor the days I'll be home for Christmas, and asked if he could please put out a memo for all the other aides saying I'm looking for hours if anyone needs days covered. So far I've heard nothing. I wasn't expecting to be working everyday, but I was hoping to get at least a few hours there.
I'm still haven't decided if I want to call Smiths or not. In theory, I'm still on pay roll and could work over Christmas... And yeah, if I worked 20 hours a week the three weeks I'm home that would be over a month's worth of rent. But... I just really don't want to. I don't know why either. I don't HATE working there, I generally get along with everyone and it would give me something to do.
But the line of "Worth it" money wise is a very fine line. Or is it? I guess the 12-16 hours a week I put in over the summer wasn't bad really. Maybe I will call tomorrow, just to make sure I really am still on payroll and don't have to go through the whole application thing again.
Uhhhhggggg... I can't think right now. My brain is mush from trying to drain out Human Physiology (which I rocked [hopefully] this morning) and make room for religion.

I don't even know.
I'm sleepy. Maybe I'll take a nap then get up and study some more and feel better about the world.

4 days

Lita came over tonight, I made spaghetti for dinner, and then we made peanut butter bars. Half of them are currently hiding in my freezer and it is taking all of my willpower not to eat all of them at once.
It was a nice break from human physiology, but now it's back to studying.

It's raining, which means it's not cold enough to snow. On some level, I feel this should make me happy. However, I'm just pissed off that it's raining and my pant hems got wet walking back from youth soccer.
Oh, and pounding down the hot chocolate. I definitely shouldn't leave chocolate out of my diet like I did for this whole semester. There is no point.

Yesterday I had my End of the Season meeting with Lauren, where she just went over what she wrote on my personal evaluation that she gives to... I dunno actually. Probably Chris Geiser, who's the program director.
ANYWAY!
I was a bit worried that she was going to chew me out for being shy and not always jumping in with the small talk. Quite the contrary! She said she was very impressed with how far I had come since the beginning of the semester and especially from last spring. That she knew I didn't have the same personality as the other junior AT students who were assigned to soccer, and the fact that I tend to assess situations and figure out who the strong personalities in a group are in order to find my place is perfectly acceptable. So what if I can't take on a few of the guys who are loud and frighteningly inappropriate? Lauren commented on how well I work one-on-one with people, especially the two guys I've been doing rehab with 4 times a week for the past month, and how that's going to suit me wonderfully when I am a PT.
She told me that my knowledge of athletic training for were I am in school is right were it should be, if not slightly above the curve. All I have to do is gain confidence in my eval skills and know that 9 times out of 10, what I think is wrong with someone IS INDEED what is wrong. I also need to remember to always do my evals in a specific order: 1) What Happened, 2) Where does it hurt?, 3) Does it hurt if I poke you right here?, 4) Motion and Strength, 5)S pecial Tests, 5) Conclusion.
She said she is fully comfortable leaving me in charge of the training room and people's rehabs if she has to step out for 10 minutes or an hour. And that next year when I'm on Track/Tennis for the first half of the semester she'll let me do evals AND COME UP WITH REHAB PLANS on my own!!
Lauren said above all though, she was very impressed with my maturity and professionalism in the Athletic Training room, especially when it came to working with an all male team. She said I am one of the few girl's she's worked with who's been able to strike the perfect balance of getting to know the guys, being able to talk to them and have fun with them; yet still knowing my place and their place in the AT-athlete relationship, not give into wanting the attention, not letting them flirt with me, very importantly not flirting back; and at the end of the day be able to do soft-tissue mobilization (think deep tissue massage) on someone's groin and hip flexor, then fist pound them on the way out. She said she LOVES being able to tell the program directors that the female AT students manage to find the line and walk that line with perfect balance without once falling to either side like I did. Most of the time gender isn't brought up unless it's an issue, she loves being able to bring it up in a positive way.
She said that I was going to be great at what I do someday.

And I was just like ... WOW! Lauren is one of the people I look up to most in this world! To hear her say nothing but good things means so much to me!!

6 days.

This is a REAL LIVE PINE TREE sitting in the foyer of the library. It smells wonderful and makes me happy.

Today I woke up to my alarm (obviously) which is set to the radio, to hear "There's a stand-off between police and a man in a stolen SUV on about 19th and Cylborn near the Marquette Interchange." Usually I have the radio on long enough to figure out if they are playing music or talking, then turn it off and wonder why no stations actually play songs in the morning. But this morning the words "19th and Cylborn" and "Marquette" caught my ear. For you see, that is one whole block from my apartment, although thankfully not on the route I take to class in the morning. However, the thought did cross my mind to email my religion teacher, and tell him I wont be in class to hand in my term paper because I am afraid of BEING HIT BY A STRAY BULLET FROM THE POLICE STAND OFF THAT IS OUTSIDE MY HOUSE.
I've met people from other parts of Wisconsin who describe Milwaukee as "The biggest Shit-Hole there is," and personally I think that they are correct about that one.

But I went to class, and now I am done with religion (save for my final) FOREVER. Most ironically, I got the crazy urge to go to church today while in the cafe in Straz Hall, drinking my friday coffee (I'm only allowed coffee on Friday when it's only a dollar) and researching Residency cites.
Looks like I'm either going to be in/within two hours of Los Angeles, in Portland, in Seattle, or in bum-fuck nowhere Oregon/Colorado.
I really shouldn't be worried about my residency yet, I don't have to apply for another 3 years or so. I should probably be thinking about where I really want to go for my internships, which are still just under two years away. I wonder if my DPT classmates are also this neurotic about these things. I know some of them have to be. Right?

In a week: Date Night at Temple Square!

I think I might be starting to panic over my finals next week. I think it might just be all the caffeine I've had today, which is about 5x as much as usual.
I've also been a vegetarian for the past two days because I'm trying to make sure I don't accumulate leftovers that will still be around next week when it's time for me to go home.... I'm also just being really lazy and eating lots of beans/rice and Mac n' Cheese. There's no way I could ever be a real vegetarian, not having meat is really lame.

It's snowing again. Ahh.... fuck.
All of a sudden on December 1st, it decided it should be winter here. Which just means it's cold, cold, and more cold. Today it feels like 13*F outside. Which, considering my freshmen year, when we had windchills in the -20's regularly, is not THAT cold. But my winter boots finally died last year, so I've been trekking around in my running shoes. (which I don't even feel bad about cause I don't do that much running these days, and I'm getting new running shoes in a week when I go home). The problem with running shoes is that they are designed for you to run in, for your feet to sweat in, and for your feet to be able to BREATH in. Their meshy outside is not doing much to keep my toes warm right now. I could wear my rain boots and just wear warm socks to get the same effect, oh but wait, there is a hole in the back of one and so snow and salt and cold can get in away. Then I have wet socks and little salt rocks are poking my feet with every step.
The logical thing to do would be to just go get some new boots. But that would involve getting to a store, which I cannot do without a car, and I really don't have time to spend 40 minutes both ways to the mall to spend money I don't have. Plus, my mom has already gotten me new boots for Christmas, which I'm sure I wont like and will end up exchanging or returning anyway, but the point is I wont have to pay for them.

AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT IN ONE WEEK MY PLANE WILL HAVE JUST LEFT THE GROUND.

Last night I had a dream I was flying home and got routed through an airport on some island somewhere that was SO SMALL that the only other thing on the island was a hotel. All flights to and from the island were connecting flights, so you could leave the airport and wander around and come back and not have to go threw security again.
Cause, you know, I have dreams about normal things like that.

Also! I finally got my football rotation! I'll be at Homestead High School with my good friend Nichole, and we will be working under a girl named Molly, who graduated from the Marquette AT program last year. I'm really excited!
The only problem is that Homestead is actually kind of far away. Like an hour on the bus both ways kind of far away. I checked google maps when I got the email, and I'm supposed to take the #12 bus forever, then EITHER DRIVE OR TAKE A TAXI (thanks google maps) to the school. Umm... if I had the ability to drive after getting off the bus, I would not have to take the bus in the first place! Next fall this wont be an issue, because Nichole has a car, and I will just ride with her on the days we go. However, next spring, Nichole will be going to Homestead before Spring Break and I will be going after. How am I going to get there? I don't know.
On Sunday I'm going down to UWM because apparently they are having a bike-swap-sale-something-that-Chris-my-advisor-and-Ther.EX-teacher-mentioned-in-class-today. So maybe I'll be getting a cheap old retro bike, which would be nice, but I don't know where I would put it in my apartment. They do have secure bike storage in the Parking Structures. I'm sure it's outrageously expensive to get though.
I dunno. I'll be an adult and figure something out I guess.

Now for a nap.

It's been awhile since I took a picture of something other than stuff, so here is a nice scenic post for you. This is what I see as I leave David Straz -College of Business- Hall every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 9:50 on my way to Human Physiology after 8am Religion and sitting in the cafe for an hour wasting time and thinking "I could so be working on -this- right now."

The men's soccer dinner is next Wednesday. Us student ATs were invited, so I'm hoping it starts sometime after I leave work at the bookstore at 6. Should be fun.

Well that picture turned out much better than I thought it would. In my Therapeutic Exercises class we all had to pick an injury we had encountered in the Athletic Training Room and go through the entire rehab process - from eval to return to play. I chose an Avulsion Fracture of the Inferior Pubic Rami via the Adductor Longus. Or, for your non-biology minded people, you done pulled your groin so hard you done broke your sittin' bone.
So here you see me using my laptop to have my project guidelines up, as well as the actual paper and using a library PC to find published articles on the subject. It is at this time when I really wish I had the double-monitor computer like I did when I worked with my dad's company that one summer; where I could move my mouse seamlessly between screens...
Ahem.
I'm almost done with the project though, and I'm currently looking at 11 pages. I present to my class tomorrow, turn in the paper on Thursday; and then I can worry about finishing my Religion paper. Ugh.

I also wish this headache (the kind that makes it feel like you are being STABBED WITH A SCREWDRIVER EVERY TIME YOU MOVE YOUR HEAD) would go away.

Over the past four or so years my attraction to the Catholic religion as a whole has been fading away. They promote things I don't believe in and tell me I'm going to hell for things I don't think are wrong.
But I still won't eat meat on Fridays during lent.
I pray with my family before dinner when I'm home.
I go to church and *try* to pay attention when my mom asks me to go.
And the realization that I might not be able to find a Catholic priest who will preside over my wedding in a Catholic church is terrifying to me. A Catholic wedding is something that I've had a doubt about, and anything else, to me, just seems like it would lack something. Some blessing from an authority higher than the Justice of the Peace or the little slip of paper that says I am married or the ring on my finger. I could walk up to any couple on the street and say "Oh hey, you're married, move your ring to the other finger, here's a certificate I made in MS PAINT for you. Cheers." And it wouldn't mean anything. That couple wouldn't be married.
Plus, Catholic Churches as so pretty.

I'm also getting my children baptized, their First Holy Communion, and Confirmed. When they are 18, they can make their own choices about religion. It's the route my parents took with my brother and I, and I think it worked out ok.

My tea is pink!
Lipton's Pomegranate-Cherry Green Tea. Yum.

All I want to do on Sunday is cook things. I get the feeling the cornbread in the oven isn't going to turn out. My oven is so old there is no indication of when it's done pre-heating, and I forgot to PAM the dish before I put the batter in it. Oh well, if my cornbread turns out falling apart and ugly I'm sure it will still taste ok.

Good News: I don't have rheumatoid arthritis. My blood work came back either negative for the factors or within normal levels.
Bad News: We have no idea what's wrong with me. Could be a genetic thing, could be fibromyalgia, could be related to myofascial tightness, could be left over from a virus I had when I was a baby, could be my thyroid. Could be a whole host of things that require really expensive blood work to find, and when a doctor does find it, they say, "well, that sucks, there's really no cure for that."
For now I'm just paying attention, rather than trying to ignore it. I'm keeping a journal about when the pain happens, what I was doing, and what I did the previous day. I'm keeping a food log to see if I'm secretly allergic to something and don't know it. If things get worse, like, way worse, I go back and tell Dr. Grove about it. If things stay how they are, then that's that. I figure no one knew this about me before I said anything, no one would have known had I not mentioned it, and if I had no problem dealing with it then, I will have no problem doing what I've done for the past 20 and a half years: Nothing.
I'm certainly not going to chase after an answer about this for years and let it consume my life.

I'm sick and pissed off about it.
I think I'll just stay in my hood forever, or at least until I feel better.
So glad I have nothing to do tomorrow.
I'm going to sleep until I damn well please getting up.

J-E-L-L-O

it's alive!

Remember those commercials? I do.

Also, PHOTOBOMB BY BEANS AND RICE!

I'm sick. My throat hurts and I can sense the upcoming doom mucus that's going to gather in my lungs and give me one of those outrageously sexy coughs.
I really don't have time for this right now. I'm tired all the time. I'm supposed to be studying and writing papers and making presentations and studying more and treating athletes and all I want to do is sleep.

I got one of Jillian Michaels' workout videos from Netflix. I was rather unimpressed with her form, don't feel like I got a work out, and was only reminded that I'm white and can't jump. But my next DVD is a yoga session, so that should do me more good. I've always really liked Yoga.
Season four of Dexter was put on hold for some reason. It was taken out of my Queue and put in a Saved list with an "unknown" availability date. That's not ok Netflix. I need to know what is happening!

My blood work results came in yesterday. I had a copy of the results mailed to my mom so she could read them for me, and everything was either negative or at normal levels. So I don't have rheumatoid arthritis. I still have an appointment with Dr. Grove at 11:30. I've been feeling good lately so I'm starting to slide down the hill of "Oh whatever, it's not so bad. I'm making a big deal out of this and it's not." That's the problem really, I either feel fine or mildly uncomfortable. Only about once a month do I really feel like I would rather amputate limbs myself than sit there any longer.

I could really go for a bagel right now.

It's cold here now.
So you put layers on.
Simple, really.

I'm attempting to make some sort of bean-and-rice... thing. Only problem is I've ended up with about four times as many beans as I thought I would, and I'm not really sure what to do with them all.

I've decided that I am going to do a residency after I graduate to become specialized in Orthopedic Physical Therapy. Basically, it's another year of school with very detailed classed about skeletomuscular PT, mixed with working in a clinic. If I get into one of these programs, I'll get paid for my work and I wont be paying tuition. Seems like a good deal right? I certainly think so.
So do I want to spend a year in California (all over the state), Portland Oregon, Scottsdale Arizona, Steamboat Springs Colorado, or Orlando Florida?