I want...

I want...

My ankle to stop hurting. I want Lisa to be here so she can distract the joint, release the gas buildup in the synovial fluid of the talocrural joint. I want the pain to stop radiating up to my knee and hip.

To run. I want my plantar fascia, IT Bands, and soleuses to stop being so tight. I want to be able to run 10 miles again, without worrying about the bone-on-bone contact of my left knee. I want to stop having to worry about my body falling apart and arthritis when I am 25 years old.

My computer to stop asking me if I want to update iphoto.

To speed up the next three years.
I want to be living with Drew already. I want to be able to fall asleep with him curled around my side, burrowed under my arm, fingers entwined with mine every night - not just for an hour or until I have to leave. I want to fall asleep comfortable, instead sleeping alone in my big empty bed. I want to wake up on my own side of the mattress in the morning because we both got warm while we slept.
I want a big house, with big open colorful rooms, and lots of windows. I want a giant porch that wraps halfway around the house, and I want a swing on that porch. I want a garden full of vegetables, a cherry tree, and raspberry bushes. I want a pond with a waterfall in my backyard; or at least a fountain that looks like one.
I want at least two dogs at all times.
I want to eat candle-lit dinners with fancy table cloths on impulse. I want to take candle-lit bubbles baths at least twice a week.

It to be not so hot in my room.

To be in Montana already. I want to get up early and ride my bike to Lake Como as the sun comes up, and get back to the house just in time for breakfast. I want to speed around on the four wheeler and forget real life exists. I want to wander around the house and put my hands on the smooth, polished log walls and think about how absolutely beautiful the house is. I want to sneak away to catch frogs and shoot soda cans with the boys. I want to sit out on the front porch and watch the sun go down. I want to sit out on the back porch and listen to stories. I want to stay up late, drink red wine from coffee mugs, play board games, and learn people's secrets.

To figure out what being 20 means. I want to know if I'm an adult or not. In so many ways I feel like I'm ready to be a grown up, ready to take on whatever that means. Yet at the same time I feel like I am no where near ready to stop being Steve and Peggy's kid, not ready to stop living in my parents' basement in the summer, and not ready to stop living under their rules.

To know how to dance. Like classical ballet, so I could look as beautiful as I do in my head when I listen to Beethoven. Or perhaps something modern, so I could make myself look as sexy as I do in my mind when I listen to Teeth by Lady Gaga.

I want to be able to sleep.