Pictures from School

library

2011-12-01T09:57:00.002-06:00

Another post!?! What is this madness???

In all reality, I just want to show off the fact that we have bookshelves build into the wall by our pretend fireplace. I wish we could use it, but Weigand says we can't, and you never upset Weigand. House rules.

When I'm a real adult and have my real adult house, I'm going to need a room that I can just fill with books. I'm not sure what kind of books yet, but I want lots of them. I'll put really comfortable chairs and those mini hot plates you use to keep your drink warm in there. Put that will my ALL THE COUNTER SPACE and large back yard with giant garden, me looking for a house is going to look like the scene from Time Traveler's Wife.

Walk in, "nope. next."

"Don't you want to see the rest of the house."

"No, this doesn't have enough counter. Next"

"Nope."

"Nope." ".... YOU HAVEN'T EVEN GONE INSIDE YET!"

"There's not enough room for trees AND vegetables. Next."

2011-11-30T21:48:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I was part of a research study my advisor is doing that compares muscle activation of a Curve (self-powered) treadmill and a normal treadmill. The Curve claims there is greater Glute Max and calf activation than a regular treadmill.

I haven't seen the compiled data yet, but I can tell you that self powering a treadmill is HARD. Because of how my ankles move (or don't move really) I had to run on my toes the whole time to hit the belt high enough to run as fast as they needed me too. So I was on a good uphill the whole time.

I can't tell you how much more my muscles were activated, but it took the same amount of effort, measured both by heart rate and my own perception of how hard I was working, to run 5.5mph on the Curve as it did to run 7.2mph for ten minutes on a normal treadmill.

I had 5 transmitters the size of tick-tak boxes put on 5 different muscles (under the blue tape): Glute Max, Quad, Hamstring, Calf, and Anterior Tib. Then there were 8 reflective markers on each leg: toes, both sides of the ankle, shin, knee, leg, pelvis in front, and pelvis in back. And athletic tape totally covering my shoes because they have reflective bits on them. Stylish, I know.

I mentioned I was interested in helping with research and not just being a guinea pig so I talked with the guys running the experiment for a while after. They showed me the results, which was awesome. In the lab we were in, there were about 12 cameras picking up the motion of those markers. Which they turned into a 3D stick image of my legs running on the computer. It was like how they show movies being made when people stand in for mythical creatures and such, but it was MY LEGS RUNNING! Awesome.

Even better than having my own skeleton on the computer, was that my advisor mentioned that he would look into seeing if they needed any more help with the study once they got all the data. It would just be analysis and plugging numbers into Excel, but at least it would get my foot in the door as far as research positions go.

Which would be freaking sweet to see all the research my professors are doing on body mechanics and stuff.

Grandma Dee's Rum Cake

2011-10-29T18:59:00.002-05:00

Nailed it.

I think this is actually my Great Grandma's aunt's recipe. Which means that it has that "passed down" delicious factor that you just can't get in anything else.

Having said that, those ladies were not counting calories, I suggest you stay away from this cake if you are. There's a cup of both butter and sugar in the glaze alone. :D

You should probably also stay away from this cake if you are pregnant. The 3/4 cup rum in the cake bakes out, but I put an extra 1/4 cup in the glaze after I took it off the heat.

That's how we roll in this apartment.

The glaze didn't coat the cake as well as I would have hoped, but the glaze is hard. My mom's been making this cake for as long as she's known my dad (36 years) and it's still hit or miss with her. But this is supposed to be a bunt cake, and the glaze is supposed to go on before it comes out of the pan, then cool and harden to the cake in the pan. I didn't have a bunt pan, so I think I improvised pretty well, putting a layer of glaze on the bottom, between layers, and on top.

It just needs some vanilla ice cream. Yummy!

This was the first time I've ever had a "beater" [don't have a mixer so it was technically a whisk] from this batter. I now understand why my mom didn't let us have them as kids, even though with every other recipe there was, my brother and I each got a beater and she got the spatula.

Now I just have to make sure I don't eat the whole thing myself before my roommates get home.

2011-10-26T19:49:00.002-05:00

Check out the awesome water bottle I got at the Career Fair last night:

For the past four years I have been going to the Health Sciences Career Fair to get the free stuff: water bottles, pens, highlighters, magnets, more pens, some candy, chapstick, ect. The kind of free crap that people just love to print their name on and give away. This year, I actually expressed a slight interest in some of the companies that had clinics in Phoenix, and I may have actually found a clinic that I would like to spend some time at. It is specifically a Sports Medicine clinic and is directed by an Athletic Trainer, although they do see other general outpatient clients too. However, I found out that I don't get to do as much outpatient as I thought, and in order to pass my Board Licensing Exam (scary) I have to do so much Acute and SubAcute Rehab. Bleh. Acute rehab is like post stroke and old people. Geriatrics? DO NOT WANT.

Next year I suppose I will start asking what they like to hear in an interview and about the interview process in general (ex. Is it appropriate to ask what your salary will be?).

One good think I learned though, if you get further specialized (which I plan on doing) in either Orthopedics or Manual Therapy (the two I am thinking about) "You pick where you want to work and you name what you will be paid."

But the moral of the story is I now have a snazzy aluminum water bottle.

2011-10-23T15:36:00.000-05:00

Look at all the things I did this weekend. I feel so productive!

Does the fact that this is the second picture post within a week mean I'm going to get back on track with my posting?

No.

No it does not.

2011-10-22T08:16:00.003-05:00

Last year, my cosy little studio apartment was never cold. Heat was included in my rent, so not only could I have the thermostat set however high I wanted, but I also had neighbors to the left, right, and below who were also doing the same thing. I was on the top floor, and in these buildings that were apparently built before the invention of insulation, heat rose into my apartment quite nicely.

This year however, is not quite the same. Not only do we pay for our heat (thus it is set at 62*) but we also have a very large apartment. A large apartment with lots of windows. Lots of windows that are probably older than I am and although they are weird and have two sets of glass (storm windows anyone? Yes? No?) they do NOTHING as far as temperature regulation. They are also coming out of the runners, so there is a lovely draft charging into every room of the house (except the bathroom - I might have to take over when it gets colder. I will make my own flag and everything) through the windows and two outside doors we have. We generally have a lot more outside wall then I did last year.

So what do you do when your house leaks cold air?

You plastic wrap it:

And let me explain, this is not some brilliant idea that roommate Nichole came up with because she is from Green Bay and her family figured it out. Oh no. This is just commonly accepted here. Giant plastic sheets show up at the store with the Halloween decorations. Marquette always puts out flyers for a service day to help "Winterize homes of the elderly in Milwaukee." Like it's normal.

...

This is not normal.

I am using double stick tape to attach shrink wrap to the walls of my apartment and then using a hair dryer to make sure it's in place so I don't freeze to death. HOW IS THAT NORMAL?! WHY WOULD ANYONE CHOOSE TO LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE THAT IS NORMAL????????

As a note, I have no idea if the newspaper is a normal thing. But after last Tuesday it seemed like a good idea and I don't really care how it looks.

Last Tuesday was the day that reminded me of why I hate it here. It had been SO NICE up until now. I had been having a good time with the roommates and classes (for the most part) I can put up with. I was ENJOYING MYSELF. To the point where I may or may not have forgotten that it will get miserably cold.

But then we woke up on Tuesday. It was cold, and raining, and windy. I sat in my room trying to do homework and I couldn't feel my toes. It was the kind of cold INSIDE OUR APARTMENT that makes it so you can't think about anything else except not being cold anymore. I'm currently sitting here, in two pairs of socks, a shirt, a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie, wrapped up in the blanket my aunt crocheted for me, and I am still cold. I've got two layers of plastic on each window so far and I'm about to add another. Nichole told me that last year they had to do 5 layers for my room and the one at the other end of the hall - the ones with two windows and a full facing outside wall. Nichole and Marie only have one window each and are much better protected as far as how the building is set up.

2011-10-14T08:36:00.003-05:00

So maybe I'm not becoming a Pagan. I'm about halfway through one of the books Mohale gave me and I just can't take it seriously. No, I'm not getting myself a wand and a dagger and a pendant necklace and drawing up a circle in the living room. When they spell magick with a K i can't take them seriously.

But I'll finish the two books and be completely open to whatever their religion entails of them and continue to be interested. I'll celebrate solstices with them and the seasons and be merry with yummy dessert wine.

Also, it's fall now. It seems that happened sometime in the four days I was home last weekend.

2011-09-26T20:07:00.002-05:00

So.

I'm becoming a Pagan.

Really though.

Mohale, Emmanuel, and Alicia of Land of Upstairs are all Pagans, and tonight they invited Marie and I to Family Dinner, which was offered in the name of some solstice or something. I've actually been considering this for almost two years now, and he lent me some books about it. Alicia suggested I follow Norse traditions, which would give me the title Heathen. She also said it was acceptable for me to keep my Catholic-ness and therefore I get to once again be a Catholic Heathen. I haven't been one of those since I told Brian Bartel I didn't want to go to an LDS Sunday service with him.

Mohale. A week or so he gave me "The Talk," because my parents never did and has since become my black father.

Alicia brought out some wonderful smelling Rain flavored incense. It kept a bee away that kept trying to eat us.

Also, there is lots of wine and merriment at Pagan Family Dinners. And baked apples with sweet caramel drizzled on them for dessert.

Alicia also promised to take me to her parent's house next 4th of July because there is a carnival near by that we can go to, and then s'mores, firepits, and slip n' slides in her back yard at midnight.

I kind of love living below those three. So far it's making things more enjoyable than living by myself.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled anatomy.

2011-09-22T13:23:00.002-05:00

I feel like I should be updating more. Taking more pictures and being all LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!one!!!

But really, there's nothing to report. There's nothing new to take pictures of. There's nothing happening out of the ordinary that warrants taking the time to put a post together. Even right now as I type this, I SHOULD be studying, but I've been doing that all day already, and I needed a break.

Most days, I get up at 7:30am, eat breakfast of oatmeal with raisins, go to class class class, study, eat lunch of a PB&J fruit and carrots, go to more class class class, workout, study, dinner of something rice based, study, go to bed between 11pm and midnight. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. On Tuesday there is a variation because I work in the dining hall from 6am-11am; I usually get something delicious for breakfast and get a hummus-grilled-vegetable-turkey wrap that I smuggle out for lunch later, then class, study study, class until 7pm.

Saturdays I go to Homestead from 8am-2 or 3pm, workout, study, grocery shop, and not pay for drinks at the Harp and Shamrock. Really though, I've been here for 7 weeks and haven't paid for a thing over there yet.

Sundays I run, study, work, and study.

I don't get a day off. Ever.

Woah is me of course. But really, it's just a fact.

I've been listening to Avril Lavigne's song How Does It Feel a lot. The first words of the song are "I'm not afraid of anything," and about 1:00 into the song she sings, "I am young, and I am free."

That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

I will see my lover in just two weeks!

2011-09-14T22:39:00.000-05:00

JackBoyCat is a creeper. But he's also being my study buddy, so I guess it's ok.

2011-09-11T23:07:00.002-05:00

Last night Mr. Upstairs Neighbor Mohale got home from a 3 week stint in Champaign Illinois for some work thingy. Former Mr. Upstair Neighbor Emmanuel came over, and it was decided that Nichole and I would get "Glammed Up" so we could go out to a bar with them, New Ms. Upstairs Neighbor Alicia, Other Michelle and Other Michelle's Male Platonic Counterpart.

So I put on a black skirt, a nice top, and my sexy boots.

I put on makeup for the first time since I got here.

And when I walked up the back porch steps onto Mohale and Alicia's porch, all I heard was "Oh God Damn!" from Mohale, and "Girl, you look fucking gorgeous," from Emmanuel, who is pretty fucking fabulous himself. They have high standards those two. It's not everyday one can get that kind of a reaction out of them.

It made me feel pretty fucking good about myself.

At the bar we ran into Mohale's friends, Steve and his lover, who's name I have unfortunately forgotten. She was beautiful in an old world sort of way, and had lovely short hair. She told me I had gorgeous shoulders. She taught me how to move my knees and hips more when I try to dance, not just pivot my torso back and forth.

I actually talked to Steve the majority of the night. Tequila had made me not shy and we talked about The Meaning of Life, and he congratulated me on my relationship with Drew.

I also talked to Emmanuel a bit. Straightened out that David is not my boyfriend as he thought (he laughed at my reaction of "Dear God no! My boyfriend is much better looking than that!") and he made me talk about Drew for a while. Also said that our management of long distance was impressive and good for us.

I still can't get over the boy's reaction to me in Not Workout Clothes Mode. It's been a very long time since someone was able to make me blush with a complement before.

2011-09-09T11:28:00.002-05:00

Gross Anatomy is a wonderfully interesting class. It's fantastically hard too. In all my other anatomy classes we learned that there was one artery in the arm - the Axillary Artery (or Bracial, depending where in the arm you are). However, this year, we have to know the 6 branches of that artery (Superior Thoracic, Thoracoacromial, Pectoral, Lateral Thoracic, Anterior Circumflex, Posterior Circumflex, and Subscapular). Before, we learned that the Brachial Plexux came from the nerves leaving your spine from between the 5th through the 9th vertibrea. This year, I get to know that those 5 nerve roots create the Superior, Middle, and Inferior Trunks, which then split and reform 6 divisions, which connect to form the Lateral, Posterior, and Medial Cords, which split and reform the Musculocutaneous, Radial, Ulnar, and Median Nerves. I need to know where in all that the Suprascapular, Subclavius, Lateral Pectoral, Medial pectoral, Medial brachial cutaneous, Medial antebrachial cutaneous, Upper subscapular, Thoracodorsal, and Lower Subscapular Nerves all come from.

Long words there. Basically, I went from having to know 2 or three structures to having to know about 40.

AND THAT IS JUST ONE CLASS. I have three classes a week where I'm expected to obtain this much new information.

So you can see why I have to have my Grey's Anatomy open to read about the structures while I have my Atlas of Human Anatomy open to look at the pictures of what I'm reading.

The body's an asshole.

I wanna punch it in it's complicated asshole neck.

I had my first shift at McCormick last night. I pretty much just wandered in circles cleaning tables for three hours. Then learned that when you sign up for a shift that ends at 12, you aren't actually done at midnight, you are done whenever you finish cleaning up. Which really, would not have been a big deal if I had been told this when I was signing up for shifts. However, as I have class at 9am the day after both of my closing shifts, I'm seeing that not getting to bed until about 2am is going to be an issue, cause I love me some sleep and I like getting up around 7:30am everyday, for consistency.

But they were very understanding when I told this to the Student Manager in charge of scheduling, cause she is a PT student also (a 6th year). I was able to keep all my hours, and they were just shifted around so I'm not there any later than 10. Which is going to be a double bonus cause now I can get some dessert before I leave. :D

Speaking of PT students, the 5's had a grill picnic get to know you yesterday for us 4's. It was fun, cause for the first time the group of upperclassmen I was talking to was actually HONEST about how things work, and they all said not to worry about our Policy Management class, cause it's crazy hard and our professor is kind of a bitch and will apparently try to flirt with all the boys in the class. We have her for 3 hours straight on Thursday nights and after class we all walk out of there going "I did not understand a word that came out of her mouth." Right now we are learning about Insurance Companies and how we bill them and what we can bill them for and can't bill them for and how we get paid and such, and our professor keeps abbreviating EVERYTHING into 3-letter acronyms. Then she will say what the acronym stands for and say "Who knows what that is?" and when we all say we don't have a clue what she is talking about, instead of explain, she just keeps lecturing about SNFs and AMCs and MACs and HDCKS's and we all have ADD in that class.

2011-09-08T20:30:00.001-05:00

The Brew in the Union.

I like it here.

It smells good.

And there's lots of plugs.

2011-09-07T12:09:00.002-05:00

So it would appear that this year, my Picture-A-Day blog is going to be an I'll-Update-Whenever-I-Damn-Well-Please blog.

Not that I don't want to post a picture everyday, I do, really. But we're going on year #3 here. There are only so many times I can post a picture of the same buildings and trees and things I pass everyday before it gets old. I know the cats aren't that interesting, and if they are, I don't get a picture of it.

Nichole and I are debating going camping this weekend. She took it off originally to go with her man, but he bailed because he's kind of a loser to begin with. So depending on if Molly is ok with us both missing the game this Friday we might trek it out to some camp site she knows of, make a fire, roast a marshmallow, and then say, "It's cold, fuck this." and come back. Ta-da! Camping.

Either way though, I have to be to work by 5pm on Sunday.

Oh yeah, I work in one of the dorm's dining halls now. Nothing too steller, but it's a consistent 15 hour a week job that will get me through the year. At $7.75 (and $8.25 for the hours after 8pm) with my current spending habits, I'll actually end up ahead each week. I'm not going to be making oodles of money or anything, but I should end up with a surplus of about $75 - $85 a week. Which for me, is quite a lot. I'll have to buy myself something nice (like a strapless bra that fits!) and not feel bad about it. Am I totally stoked to serve whinny freshmen food and then clean up after them? No. But I need the money AND I'll be getting a free meal 3 days a week, one of which is breakfast, which means a mother fucking bagel for me.

La-di-da

I wish I didn't eat when I was stressed. Spending an extra hour at the gym alternating between the elliptical and bike is a phenomenal waste of time.

2011-09-05T12:06:00.002-05:00

Today I officially stop trying to be friends with this cat. I was standing in the kitchen, minding my own business, talking to Marie, when she jumped up on one of the low cabinet/shelves we have and dug her claws into my back. Not like she was trying to jump up on my shoulder, which she does to Nichole, but just reached up claws extended and stuck her paw against the middle of my back. A few minutes later she did it again to my leg.

So fuck you cat.

I fucking hate this fucking cat.

Jack Boycat however, I still really like. Because he's not an ASSHOLE.

2011-09-04T21:01:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I finally got a glue gun so I could start playing "art." "art" is what happens when I glue all* the bottle caps that we had on the fridge** to the back of a poster featuring the Marquette Men's Soccer team. "art" is what happens when I need a break from reading my Psychological Aspects of Health Care while I outline the chapter by answering the Reading Objective our professor provided for us. "art" is what happens when I am sexually frustrated, and I apologize if that is information you could have gone your whole life without knowing. "art" includes the CDs I painted with nail polish from the end of my sophomore through the beginning of my junior year of high school, the posters I draw on with Crayola markers, and other various projects which usually involve sewing things by hand.

"art" should never be confused with Art, which is something that requires actual talent to create. I should hope the things I make are never referred to as Art, as it would be an insult to actual Artists everywhere.

At this point, I am under the impression that there needs to be a party at this apartment, because I need more bottle caps and wine corks. I also need more glue gun sticks.

*That's the whole summer worth of bottle caps, before you think we're a bunch of alcoholics. Well, I don't know what I can say for my roommates, but *I* am not.

* *We have a bottle opener on the fridge that also happens to be a magnet. It's pretty cool actually, you just pop your bottle on it, and the cap flips up onto the magnet out of the way for the next bottle. It never complains about being used all the time, and can always be counted on to open a bottle. Even the twisty ones that hurt my hands to open.

2011-09-04T01:14:00.002-05:00

Yep. You are really seeing that chain float in the air about 2 inches away from the fridge. That magnet is MADE WITH SCIENCE and is really that strong.

We may or may not have gotten tipsy and stuck Phoebe's collar tags to it. Before you tell me how cruel we are, the magnet was placed near the floor for this. We did not hang a cat from the fridge.

schoolio

2011-09-01T20:58:00.002-05:00

Ok. I get it. I'm being a bad post-a-day-er.

But you know what?

I'm in fucking GRAD SCHOOL (cause I'm awesome) and it's HARD and I'm BUSY.

And you know what else? All my professors seem to be under the impression that not telling us exactly what assignments we have and what is due and what isn't due and what is expected of us is a good thing. That it is helping us grow as independent people. So not only do I actually have to pay attention ALL THE TIME in class, I have to figure out what I'm supposed to be reading, where to get a book my professor wants us to have yesterday but was not on the booklist and is not in either bookstore on campus ("Haven't you guys ever heard of Amazon?"), what I need to be retaining from some boring ass reading about making sure I'm super-smiley-nice to my patients even if they don't deserve it (answer: all of it), and how we have a whole class dedicated to how we should treat people with disabled persons no differently than people without disabilities (which is ironic, cause then why do we have a class about how brave and persevering and wonderful this person with a double-above-the-knee amputation is in the first place?). And that is just ONE CLASS!!!

Not to mention there is now the body of some old lady sitting (I guess laying in a blue bag technically) in the cadaver lab in the basement of Cramer Hall with my NAME ON IT. Not to mention that last Wednesday I CUT HER CHEST OPEN in order to find her frail old-lady pectoral muscles, cephalic vein, thoracoacromial artery, and lateral and medial pectoral nerves; and that in a few short weeks we will be using a BONE SAW to CUT HER CHEST OFF so we can TAKE OUT HER HEART.

Which is fine as long as you are just staring at the muscles or area of the body you are dealing with and do your best not to look at the white wash cloth and remember that there will be a FACE there and at some point in time we are going to CUT HER SKULL OFF AND TAKE OUT HER BRAIN.

Not to be graphic or anything.

(On a side note with that, I threw away my chemistry goggles last spring when I was moving. I held onto them for THREE YEARS only to throw them away three months before I get to another class where they say "At points where we are using a bone saw, it is advised you have lab goggles." Fuck.)

For the first time since I got here as a Freshmen I'm actually finding that I wish I had.... more time. Instead of wishing it was midterms already, or Thanksgiving, or even October 6th when I go home for the wedding, I'm sitting here wishing there were 3 more hours in every day. Before this week I was worried I would be bored only having 17 credits. Now I'm worried that I won't be able to handle the workload.

Technically, I could go to 15 credits, but those two would come from dropping Kickboxing and Pilates on Wednesday and Thursday mornings, which are two classes that are not contributing to the workload and are going to be WONDERFUL stress release. I should be able to do a spinning jump kick by the end of the semester, or so thinks my instructor.

I'm trying to work out how I can work at McCormick's Dining Hall with my roommate Marie. I have to keep reminding myself that while my schedule would allow me to work 6-midnight 6 days a week I am going to NEED that time to study, and I should make sure I don't ever work more than 15 hours a week. According to Marie, the minimum is 5 hours a week with one weekend shift, which can be as short as 2 hours.

2011-08-30T23:19:00.002-05:00

Why, yes, that Policeman IS on a horse!

There is a police... office (?) on the first floor of the apartment building across the street from my building. I say office because it is no where near big enough to be a station and it looks like they just have a single desk in a waiting room type area in font. And apparently they like to ride their ponies there.

Today in my Patient Management lab we got to play in wheelchairs for two hours, which included an obstacle course in which not only did you have to maneuver through, our lab instructors got to pick if you only had arm control or if you could only use the right/left side of your body to move the chair. It was hard!

Tomorrow I start my cadaver lab. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. My mom is sending me a pair of scrubs to wear, which is very nice, cause the TAs said whatever you wear in there will be ruined by the end of the semester.

Sleepy time.

2011-08-30T08:40:00.001-05:00

First day of scchhoooooooooool. Patient Management with Laurie (I'm Dr. Laurie Kontny but call me Laurie cause Mrs. Kontny is... I dunno... my MOTHER IN LAW) is going to be interesting, tomorrow we start wheelchairs and patient transport in lab. There's a lot about what the profession of Physical Therapy is, and I get the feeling lecture will be a lot about our scope of practice and the more legal/ethical side of things.

Right after that, it's an hour of Culture and Disability with Dr. Solbrush (or whatever), who wishes to be addressed as such. I'll bet you already know which lecture is going to be enjoyable. I don't know if Doc S just sounds like this, or if he is TRYING WAY TO FUCKING HARD but it sounds like he's so concerned with sounding like he is lecturing at a Graduate Level and so conscious of being beyond politically and grammatically that he seems to loose track of what he is actually saying. The man says "umm" and repeats himself way too much. Maybe he's nervous. Maybe he doesn't have the best people skills. Maybe that's just how he is. But man, I already hate listening to him speak.

Gross Anatomy with cadaver lab. Need I say more?! It's going to be great. Unfortunately we can't take pictures for medical privacy issues. So no pictures of my group's body's insides. :( :(

2011-08-28T18:25:00.001-05:00

Good fucking Christ.

That's all.

*After financial aid.*

Back Porches

2011-08-26T23:04:00.002-05:00

Well, this is the back of our building, looking at the 6 unit bundle that is to the north of the 6 unit bundle I am in. It's possible to get onto the roof from the northmost building, and I am very tempted to go over there if I ever have a day off (not likely) and try to even out the horrible farmer's tan I've developed over the past three weeks of football. The dress I'm wearing to Rachel and Brian's wedding is light and spaghetti strapish, and as proud as I was of my tan lines in high school at prom, I'd like to just look normal now.

2011-08-23T20:56:00.002-05:00

Nichole brought her mini-fridge from the dorms to the apartment last year.

It's known as the Beer Fridge.

{COLLEGE!!}

Across the street at the Harp and Shamrock the bartender (Ted) often gives out free drinks. Nichole and Marie frequently showed up last year, and thus he knows them well. I've only been over there twice but he knows me now too. He looks kind of like a crack-head but he's not. He's actually pretty cool. Did I mention he gives me free Mike's Hard Black Cherry? It's my new favorite!

He also doesn't look at me weird when I order tequila and Sprite.

2011-08-22T23:30:00.002-05:00

This is Jack. He's Marie's and is the most god-awful irritatingly loud thing on the planet. He also desperately needs to be reminded that he is loved and is generally a very cuddly cat. I like him much more than Phoebe, as I have yet to find him lying on my bed like he thinks he owns it. He's also easy to please. He just flops down on his side and is perfectly happy if all you do is rub him (none too gently either) with your foot. He gets all purry and goes nuts rubbing his face on the carpet and stretching out so you can get to his belly.

I've been letting him sit on my lap while I'm on the computer because he loves just having someone touch him, even if it is just my forearms resting on his back while I type. I don't know how much longer that will go on though, it makes me sneezy.

Speaking of my computer, last night my hard drive crashed. Again.

Apple gave me a new one. Again.

I lost everything that I had put on my computer since April 4th, but that is mostly just pictures (a bummer but not the end of the world) and some music (which I can reload when I come home in October).

Apple is on the awesome list for this though. I called this morning, they got me into the genius bar after football practice, put in a new hard drive and gave me a keyboard/cover in less than 45 minutes, and then didn't charge me for it.

Cool.

I miss my boyfriend.

2011-08-19T11:52:00.002-05:00

It's my Daddy-o's birthday today. He's a pretty swell guy and I hope one day Drew will be as good a father to our children as he is to me. He's always been there with advice or strong arms to fold me up in; from when I was little and could snuggle into his chest on Saturday morning to now when I just need a hug. He can fix anything or any problem, and knows everything there is to know about everything. He's perfect. He's my dad.
And I have his chin.

2011-08-18T22:59:00.003-05:00

I have the worst luck with glass.
Today I grabbed a mason jar that had broken and I didn't notice until I looked down and my entire palm was red. It was just a little cut, but the glass was sharp enough to make a very clean cut that just kept bleeding. It's stopped now, and it just kind of stings.
I haven't seen my own blood in a long time though. It was kind of interesting.

Tomorrow we've got two football games (JV and Varsity) at some school that's about an hour away. Molly said to be prepared for a 10-11 hour day, which isn't as intimidating as you would think. A whole lot of that is going to be sitting around, then taping people, then dealing with blood during the game, then injury evals, then riding home. Plus, Molly, Nichole, Mackenzie (student from Corcordia University), and Bailey (from UW-Milwaukee) are going on an AT outing to get lunch before the game. It'll be fun. We'll bond and ensure Tyler (also from UW-Milwaukee) feels outnumbered by all the estrogen when he starts coming for his clinical on Saturday.

Also, blood:

2011-08-16T22:20:00.002-05:00

Since I have east-facing windows I have been woken up quite rudely by the sun every morning around 7. I try to go back to sleep, but the blinds are crap in these apartments, and so it only gets increasingly warm and bright in my room.
I'm hoping the posters block out enough light to keep it darker, and the white backs reflect enough to keep it cooler in my room tomorrow morning.
If it works, I'm giving myself 25 points for being resourceful.

2011-08-15T10:01:00.004-05:00

Hello there. No I have not been shot because I live in Shit-Hole Milwaukee, nor have I been stabbed because I live on 22nd street. I'm just slacking.
Last week, everyday was the same. Wake up at 5:30am, leave at 6:00am, get to Homestead by 6:30am, tape and pre-practice for an hour, first practice, injury evals and snarffing lunch, second practice, wondering where all the people I told to get ice are, home by 3:00pm, True Blood, dinner, in bed by 9:00pm. Repeat.

All in all, I'm enjoying being at the High School. However, it's reminding me of why I'm going on to PT school afterwords, and making me really glad I decided not to stop next spring. Right now, I'm doing a lot, A LOT of acute injury evals; ankles, knees, shoulders, backs... and honestly, it's just not floating my boat. I mean, I enjoy it enough that I don't dread going to practice, but I enjoy the rehab aspect of things SO MUCH MORE, and that's something I don't really get to do a whole lot of at the high school level.
I haven't decided yet if it is because rehab is most of what I have done so far and I am comfortable with it, and that I keep encountering injuries that don't fit into the textbook description of what we learned, and it makes me feel incompetent that I don't know; or if it's because it's just not my thing. Either way, I know I've just got to just wait for it to grow on me like Marquette did in general.

Yesterday I went to the state fair. I got a bit sunburnt, more freckles, my first funnel cake, and looked at all the animals. Dairy cows are much larger than I thought they would be.

2011-08-11T20:08:00.002-05:00

We finally got a shipment of supplies in today at Homestead. It was like Christmas, but instead of presents we got tape and bandaids and shoulder slings.
I was in charge of making sure the shipment matched the inventory list and then putting it away. It was great, I got to organize.

I was not aware of this before now, but I got good news today. Two-a-day practices only last until the end of this week, and then go to normal practice time of 2:30 -5:30pm. I only have to wake up super early tomorrow and Saturday then I get to sleep in! Yay! Sleep!
Once I get a list of days that we have events other than normal practice times, I'm going to try and get a few hours at the bookstore. Hopefully I will be able to work something out.

Kitchen

2011-08-10T20:11:00.002-05:00

Today was a gorgeous day in Milwaukee. When I got up this morning (still feels obnoxiously early - will that ever change?) it was cold enough that all the humidity had condensed into dew on the grass, and it would have been perfect weather for jeans and a light sweater. By the time Nichole and I got to Homestead High, it had warmed up just to the point that I was comfortable in my t-shirt and shorts with OR without the light jacket I had.
So far it has not been uncomfortably hot at practice, and sunny enough that I believe that I am tanning very slowly (and will get a wicked farmer's tan by the end of the season) with no risk of burning. Every now and then a big, fluffy, white cloud will float across the sun and you can see the shadow move across the practice fields. I do need to invest in some sunglasses though. I believe mine are somewhere in Shellie's NEW YORK purse that she brought to the pool in Vegas for us to put things in.

Marie and I even turned the air off this afternoon and have just had all the windows open all day. It's currently 8:21pm and I could change out of shorts into long pants and still be comfortable, which I predict will make perfect sleeping conditions in an hour or so. Speaking of sleeping. Despite the fact that I get up at 5:25am everyday and do not take a nap, I cannot for the life of me fall asleep when I get into bed around 10pm. I know I'm probably still used to staying up till 3 in the morning, but you'd think after four days of this I'd be so exhausted I couldn't keep my eyes open. Around 9 or so every night I've been getting a second wind or something, and gone back into AWAKE! mode.

Marie and I (mostly Marie - I cleaned the shower though. It's a good thing I really don't mind cleaning the bathroom, cause I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the only one doing it. Which I will be doing every week so I don't have to scrub it down like that again) cleaned the kitchen today, so now I can take pictures and show them to you and you'll think our kitchen is nice.
Oh yeah, and that IS the BACK DOOR that you see, which goes out onto a PORCH!

2011-08-09T20:58:00.001-05:00

Posters today.
Woo.

My dad suggested spritzing the cats with water when they venture in here. Good idea.

2011-08-08T21:28:00.002-05:00

How fucking great is that?!

Also, my desk finally showed up, which is superb. I also got a little basket thing that sticks in the corner of the shower for my things.
While wandering around Barns and Noble I made a new friend. I was looking at a book with dog pictures in it, and this lady walked up; I turned around because I thought she was David and I was going to show him a picture that looked like his dog. But we just started talking, this lady and me (I cannot remember her name) about if I was an animal person, and if I had dogs, and what kinds I wanted, and what she wanted (a pit, a boxer, and a.... something else of that nature). We ended up standing there talking for like half an hour about dogs and Marquette (she was an alumn) and Milwaukee and where we wanted to move too to live. It was crazy, but nice at the same time.

I'm starting to realize that my room is going to be the only clean room in this house. Either Nichole or Marie needs to buy an odor eater and put it by the litter box in the bathroom; it overpoweringly smells like ammonia even when it's clean.

Oh, and football preseason. They are doing 2-a-days right now, one from 7:30-10:00am and one from 11:30-2:00pm. Which means we are there from 6:30am-3:00pm. Which means I get up at 5:30am. Which for me, who didn't get up before 10am all summer and is used to working from 1 to 7pm, was a rude awakening this morning. It's not even 10 and I'm ready for bed.
However, it's going to get me 40+ hours a week for the next four weeks, which will put me way ahead of schedule on hours when classes start. It'll be nice not having to stress about getting them all done.
Practice itself is a bit boring, but there's always something to do, and it's really nice having Nichole there to talk to the whole time. Having said that though, I'm glad I'm going to PT school. From what I have experiences of both, I enjoy rehab more than the acute injury evals - though I still enjoy that part of it too.
Eating lunch at 11:00am is going to be a bitch though. I'm hungry again by the time 3 rolls around.

Now if I could just find my thumb tacks... I really want to hang up my posters but I have no clue what I did with them last May!

Senior Year

2011-08-07T19:28:00.003-05:00

School hasn't started yet, but I'm back in Milwaukee so I might as well start posting again. I can already tell this year will be better than last, because my apartment wasn't 100 million degrees when I walked into it yesterday. The CENTRAL AIR (!!!) is set at about 75* or so, but more importantly it keeps the humidity down.
Neither Nichole or Marie were here last night so I've had the place to myself all weekend setting up and getting organized and trying to figure out how to keep their cats out of my room. Not that I don't like the cats, cause I do, I just don't need them being all "Look at me, I'm a cat. I'm in the goddamn way," while I'm moving a dresser across the floor.

So here's my room:

I think my room here is actually about the size of my bedroom at home. (The one upstairs that has as of last Tuesday - 3 man weave on the bedrooms to put my grandma in the Master on the main floor so she did not fall down the stairs.) I'm still missing my folding table/desk but I am pretty sure that is at David's house still. The wire rack I was using as a pantry last year is in my room and, now that I've been to the grocery store, is being used as a pantry again. Still in my bedroom. It was much easier to set up this way than try and claim space in the kitchen which is fairly small given the size of the apartment and just cannot hold 3 sets of everything.

This is the PhoebeCat, she has an elusive brother Jack (or BoyCat as I call him). Currently, they are not allowed to roam my room and are only tolerated being in here while I am updating my blog and don't want to move my laptop off my lap to throw them out. I think they both clearly understand I don't want them in here, because they both like to sit in my doorway and wait until I'm not paying attention, then sneak in to crawl under my bed. Under no circumstances are the cats allowed under my bed. I do not want cat hair all over my things. Simple, really.

In other news, I woke up from a nap this afternoon, looked out the window and thought "Where the fuck am I?" I had been having a dream that Drew and I ( and my sister for some reason) were back up in Montana playing in the ponds.

I am very home sick.

Luckily, Marie is here and she has people over so I will be going out to sit with them instead of curling up in the fetal with my Drew's-cologne-sprayed-Teddy-Bear instead of pouting that I am not at Bear Lake with him.

A Post!

2011-07-22T01:16:00.002-05:00

It feels like a certain male, famous, well liked, black celebrity just got down at eye level with me and yelled, "Bitch, SHIT. JUST. GOT. REAL." Not in a mean way or anything. Just in a... declarative, factual way.
Maybe Chris Rock?

(skeetskeetskeet)

Has anyone seen that skit of his where he is making fun of the song Get Low? Does anyone understand why I find that song so funny now?

I feel like this summer is The Summer I Grew Up. Not any specific event, or day, but I feel as if I am no longer the same kid I was in May.
In just two weeks I go back to Milwaukee and start GRADUATE SCHOOL. To become A DOCTOR. I've realized that after these two weeks, I don't really live in my parents house anymore. I will have my room for Christmas and Thanksgiving and such, but other than those short school breaks, I will be in Milwaukee. Of course I cannot tell the future, and circumstances may have me back here for another summer in two years while I do a clinical internship, and it is possible that Drew and I will live here between the time I graduate and start a residency.
I saw the last Harry Potter, which seems like a weird reason. But I very much grew up with Harry Potter; I was 11 when the first movie was in theaters, and I was 17 when I read the last book. It was a huge part of my childhood, and now it's finished. I cried during the movie. Not at the sad parts, not when Fred died, but just randomly, cause it was the last one.
I'm 21. That really is functioning adult status in my book.

I want to get "There is no try." tattooed on the underside of my left forearm. It's been my philosophy ever since my mom quoted Yoda on my whiteboard during track season my senior year of high school.

I have no criminal record in the states of Utah and Wisconsin. I could have told you that, but Marquette needs it official before I can start my clinicals.
Which I start signing up for this October. How am I supposed to do that? I have no idea where I want to go. I suppose the actual clinic/hospital doesn't matter. I just have to pick an area of the country I want to spend a handful of weeks in.
I do know I want to go to Athlete's Performance in Phoenix from January to March of my last year. The weather will be perfect and so fuck Wisconsin winter.

Today was my last day at Hand and Ortho, it was kinda sad. I really enjoy my job. Hopefully I can cover for some people when I'm home for Christmas.

I might have a job as a receptionist at a gym once school starts. Only a 3 hour shift on Tuesday and Friday mornings, but that's still $45-$60 a week more than I would be making without a job. Which means my grocery fund would remain neutral if not actually increase over the course of the semester. It would be nice if that worked out. Really, it would.

I'm running again. It's slow, and my endurance is laughable, but I'm running.
It's wonderful.

I want a puppy.

2011-06-20T00:26:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting in my parent's basement, computer on my lap, watching a marathon of 16 and Pregnant.

Living the dream.

Actually this show makes me wonder just how stupid people can possibly be.
I mean.
My god.

What is wrong with people?

Someone needs to slap a bitch.

I can't decide if it's like a train wreck that I just can't look away from, or if I'm watching because it makes me feel better about myself.
I think mostly the later. It's nice to be reminded every now and then that by comparison, I'm not a total fuck up.

I seem to keep teetering back and forth between embracing my adulthood and clinging to my childhood.

-I interrupt this blog to let you all know that I've changed channels and I'm now watching House Hunters and a gay couple is featured. Wonderful. And the house is gorgeous. Oh my god and they have a son. Denmark is much cooler than America. AND THEY HAVE A HARLEQUIN GREAT DANE!-

Anyway.

I keep getting complemented at work about how mature I am, how with it I am, how I have such a set and determined plan. I keep getting told that people would have never guessed I was turning 21 in a few days, not 25 or 26.
I keep replying with sure, I know what I would like my life, I know what I want to be studying, I know where I would like to be going.
But I still feel like I am pretending.
That I'm not a real adult.
Even though, I know, by society's standards I am.
That if I wasn't going to school, or even if I was going to school at the University of Utah, I would be working more. Possibly enough to support myself, or if not myself, enough to contribute to Drew and I supporting ourselves. I know that I know how to take care of myself, I did it for a year without any major disasters.

But by the standards that I grew up with I'm not an adult. Not until I am done with school. I'm just not, no matter how capable I may be.
Instead of looking at it from the point that I know how to find a place to live, I have a job, I can cook, I know how to budget my money....
I just see the fact that I don't own my own car nor do I have to money for one, I don't have my own insurance, I know the definition of a stock but I don't know how to acquire them or what to do with them when I have them.

I keep saying things like, "when I'm an adult," and "real job," and Drew keeps getting mad and telling me to stop selling myself short. And I think I see his point. IF things were different, and IF I wasn't going to school in a different state, and IF I was able to work full time I could do it. I could be an adult.
But I am and I'm not and it's not. I don't work full time and I don't live here and things are how they are. And how things are now I'm not a real adult.

But I could be.
And it's weird. Cause adulthood was always so far off and it seemed like this state of being where you just know what the fuck is going on. But I'm finding out you just get better at dealing with things on the fly and acting like you are not as surprised as everyone else that is worked.

I think it's mostly I know all the things that I want, I just don't want them now. I want it to be the time I want them to happen but at the same time I want that time to take it's sweet time getting here.
Say that 5 times fast.

I'M AN ADULT -Andy Sanberg

2011-05-22T01:24:00.004-05:00

I'm beginning to realize my excuse of being "too young" is starting to get... well... old.

Because the fact of it is that I'm no longer too young.

One of my patients told me so last Thursday. He was the most adorable old man ever. Actually he asked if I was married, and then asked why not when I said that I was not. He laughed when I told him 20 was too young. He also said that Drew was the lucky one.
Two days before that, I was mistakenly assumed to be Drew's wife.

I've been pushing the things I want out of my mind for years now. I keep telling myself not to be silly and entertain the thoughts.
I tell myself all things in due time.
I tell myself things will happen when they happen.
I tell myself I will get it when I'm older.

I've generally held the opinion that my classmates who have had gotten married or had children already are out of their mind. That they are wasting their young adult life.
I comfort myself with the idea that taking that path myself would ruin everything. That I'm not ready.
That it's not in the cards for me.
That I'll be better off the way things are going.
That I'm not ready to be an adult, a wife, a dog owner.

But when responsible, mature, intelligent, and reasonable Kelly John and Andrew Jolly (yep, another one!) get engaged, it's suddenly thrown in my face that the way I'm keeping my thoughts at bay isn't exactly 100% true.
I admit to myself that I am responsible with money and finances, that I am driven and get things done, and that I am capable.
I realize (with a nasty shock mind you) that at almost 21, I AM in fact, old enough. Old enough to own a car as some of my friends do, pay rent like I do, hold a job and find an income like I do. That I am indeed an adult.
That only a few years ago I regarded this age as OLD. Well now I'm here.

It's interesting.

I'll allow myself to admit, just for an instant, that, after four years, maybe being engaged isn't something to brush off for a later time.
To admit that while I was overjoyed at the news that Rachel and Brian were engaged, I allowed myself to shed a tear or two of pure jealousy. Over the fact that they started dating, got the dogs, got the house, got engaged, will be married, and most likely having children AFTER Drew and I started dating yet BEFORE we can have any of that ourselves.
To admit that for years I've been making lists of what I want our house to be like. Making mental notes of colors I think would look good in our kitchen and in the bedrooms. Learning to cook and learning how to take care of myself so I can make sure I can take care of Drew and the family we will create one day.
To admit that for the past two years, through birthdays and Chirstmas and any other occasion where I am asked, "What do you want?" that the first thing that comes to my mind is a ring. That the image of Drew down on one knee asking me to spend the rest of our lives together flashes through my mind before I tell him that if he really must get me something a movie or text book would be fine.
To admit that I thought it might happen in Montana, in Disneyland, in Hawaii.

But I know that no one follows the same path, and there are no rules that define the miles stones of relationships and when they have to happen.
So I just go back to smiling and saying, "All things in due time."

2011-05-13T18:54:00.003-05:00

Well, this was supposed to be posted like two days ago, but blogspot was apparently having issues so.... well that's that I guess.
As of now, all my things have been moved out, living temporarily in either the new apartment's living room or in David's spare bedroom. The carpet has been vacuumed and the apartment cleaned.
My keys were turned back into my landlord about 5 hours ago.

So now I'm just chilling at David's house, waiting until I can just go ahead and fall asleep because the sooner I go to bed, the sooner I'm waking up at 4:30am to get to the airport by 5. This time, I'm going through Atlanta, which seems very much the wrong direction, but I'm still getting home by noon, AND I'm getting a crap-ton of miles. Miles that will get me home in October for Rachel's wedding.
He's watching the finale episode of Smallville. I haven't seen an episode in about 8 years and I am generally uninterested.
What am I going to do for two hours until he presents me with the ice cream he promised?

Yesterday I finished my last final of the semester.
As of now, I am officially a Grad Student.
It's an odd feeling.

Studying

2011-05-11T10:23:00.002-05:00

I am particularly fond of this particular slide in my notes about weather-related illness. I don't know why.

In the near-ish future, it may be required that I carry and know how to use a rectal thermometer if and when I am covering a sporting event as a Certified Athletic Trainer.
Who wants to help me practice eh?

Caramel Frapachino Light*

2011-05-10T10:02:00.002-05:00

Starbucks is a treat I indulge in maybe once or twice a month. Not because I can't live without my Starbucks, but because mom and dad sent me a gift card for Easter, which makes it a double treat, because it's not even my money.
Would I support the -local scene- of coffee houses if I didn't have the giftcard? No, probably not. From what I've seen, they are full of tea-slurping hipsters who don't know the meaning of the word "headphones," and cost just as much, if not more, for the same drink.
Plus, I'm not about to go on a 20 minute bus ride for coffee when I have my own cheap tea in the cupboard.

2011-05-09T09:06:00.002-05:00

I am The Champion of Tetris.
Ok, maybe not THE Champion, but I'm pretty freaking good at Tetris-ing the crap out of everything and maximizing the amount of things I can put into a plastic container when it comes to moving.
By the time my 6th year rolls around I'm going to be so efficient at this we'll pack up one car full of my stuff and be like "yup, that's everything." Sure, it will weight about a billion pounds, but it will be very -compact-.
Or maybe not actually. Given that Marie, who is one of the girls I am moving in with next year is also in PT school with me, she and I may just stay in that apartment until we are done with school. Even if Nichole goes off somewhere else for Grad School and Lindsey gives into her hipster soul and moves to Portland, I know at least one of our other PT classmates who has expressed interest in living there. I mean, roommates aren't hard to find when rent and utilities and cable/internet is only $250 a month.
As much as I love packing things into boxes (seriously, I do. I know, I'm weird) it will be nice to not have to move again for a while.

In more academic news, Cog Motor final was roundhouse kicked in the face. Depending how just how well I did I may actually be able to scrounge an A out of that class. Worst case scenario still has me an AB that is very close to an A. Which wouldn't be as cool for my GPA, but as far as not caring at all about a class, an AB is pretty good.
Why Marquette has a grading system that goes A, AB, B, BC.... instead of A, A-, B+, B.... I don't know. I feel that having the -,+ in between full letter grades would give me a chance at a higher GPA in most instances, but whatever. I'm sure The Man is just trying to keep us down. Or it's easier for our grading program to handle less options. One of the two.

2011-05-08T10:25:00.002-05:00

Last night Nichole and I were studying for our Cognitive and Motor Learning final, which is on Monday morning. After about two hours, we both decided we were done and that making Whole Wheat Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies would be a better use of our time.
So now those cookies are breakfast before I go to the gym for my scheduled run (16 minutes of running and only 4 minutes of walking!). Which I think is an excellent choice for breakfast before exercise. Carb it up you know?

I just want it to be Thursday at 7pm already. I'll be done with finals, done with working at the bookstore, and getting ready for a End-Of-Finals get together at the other apartment; waking up on Friday morning to hurry and move the rest of my things to the other apartment, ensuring I get my whole security deposit back from my move-out inspection by my land lord, and then... waiting for 4:30am to roll around when it's time to go to the airport and GO HOME!

2011-05-07T19:00:00.001-05:00

Artichokes were on sale today. Dinner was delicious.
Then I broke another glass.

2011-05-06T22:36:00.002-05:00

I don't have anything to show for myself today.
Well, no pictures anyway.
Today was my last day at Homestead High School until August so Molly and I went over her eval of me that will be turned into the program director. On a scale of 1-5 I she ranked me as either a 3 (where I should be given my amount of school) or a 4 (above average) on every skill I was to be evaluated on. So far, I am her only student intern to not receive a 2. Which is kind of an ego boost, I must admit.

This weekend is proving harder than I thought it would.

In other news, I'm keeping my opinions to myself.

I'm getting sick.
Again.
For the second time in three weeks.
WTF body?!
I'm pretty sure Nichole gave it to me, because she's running her body down just as much as I was the last time I ended up sick, but I'm still upset. I thought my immune system was better than this.

2011-05-05T12:24:00.002-05:00

I'm just packing out of sheer boredom now.
Exercise Prescription/Testing/EKG final went well this morning.
Only one more physics lecture to get through tomorrow morning.

I love books. I want a room in my house to be lined with overflowing bookshelves one day.
With squishy chairs and a window seat over looking my garden in the backyard.

2011-05-04T19:03:00.002-05:00

Today I bought my very first push-up bra.
I feel like a real woman now. Or something.

So last Friday my 95 year old great grandma got really sick; her fever was high enough that the nurses at her nursing home said she needed to be taken to a hospital. When she got to the ER, the doctor told her that her bowel had ruptured, and she was very quickly becoming septic... poisoning herself. The doctor said that there was a surgery that could be performed to go in and fix the rupture, but my grandma's chances of even coming out of surgery were very slim. Apparently, my grandma was still very lucid at this point, completely with it. She decided that she did not want the surgery, and would just like to go back to St. Joseph's Villa. She was put on a morphine drip for the pain, told everyone there that she was going to just go to sleep and for no one to worry about her.
The week before, she had told my cousin that when her time came, she would be ready for it. I think she's been ready for quite some time actually. For as long as I can remember she's been saying she never thought she would live as long as she had. She passed easily in her sleep that night.

Part of me is so sad. The idea that my grandma Dee isn't going to be there when I get home is hard for me to accept. In a very childlike mindset, I kind of assumed she would just live forever. Ever since my cousin's wedding that she was not able to attend I've had the idea that after my wedding Drew and I would go to her, me in my dress and him still in his tux. So she could see me. Not actually see me, as she was very blind; but she could make out white the easiest, so maybe she would have seen a white shape and known it was me and at least been able to feel the fabric of my dress. I know she'll still see me on my wedding, and now she will actually be able to see me; I just wont get to see her.
I'm so glad I was able to go see her and talk for over an hour when I was home for Spring Break. We talked mostly about my Grandpa Bill, who I never met. We talked about how they met and what they were like in their 20s and 30s. Grandma Dee told me they always wanted more kids than just my Grandma Shirley, but it never happened. It made me so happy that she was able to meet my cousin's son, her great-great-grandson. I hope taking care of all of us made up for the fact she only had one kid herself.
But part of me is glad for her. That she was so at peace with everything and is now reunited with her husband Bill (who died over 20 years ago) and daughter, my grandma Shirley - she has her whole family back and now the three of them can watch the rest of us. That's how my heaven works anyway. I came to that conclusion about it after my grandma Shirley died last summer.
I wonder if I will keep seeing Monarch butterflies everywhere, which I am convinced, in some way, had something to do with my grandma Shirley. I've never seen so many as I did the first months after she died. Only every one at a time, but I would see it on a weekly if not daily basis. I wonder if she was sticking around for me, because she and I were the closest - me being her only granddaughter for so long. Or if she was sticking around waiting for her momma. Which I never really thought about, not really, because they were both my grandma. The idea that grandma Shirley was tiny and small and a child is very foreign to me.
But now mom and dad and daughter are all together again.
It makes me wonder how my gramps is doing. He and my grandma Shirley were the epitome of marrying your best friend. They were each other's everything. I don't want him leaving me too, but at the same time I know he will be most at peace when he's reunited with his love.

But for now, my Gramps inherited what was left of my great-grandma's estate, which was still quite a bit from selling her house at the beginning of this year. The result of that was it being split up between all of Grandma Dee's grandchildren. My dad and aunt each got $10,000; my brother, sister, cousin Nathan, cousin Aiden (the cutest baby boy ever BTW), and I each got $5000.

Five thousand dollars.
Oh my god.
My dad called tonight to tell me, and I told him to turn around, put the money back in my parents account, and say that I NO LONGER OWE MONEY ON MY EDUCATION. We've already transferred the money I owe my parents (5 grand a year) for my 4 years of undergrad, this money will now cover my 5th year, and I have just enough in my savings account to cover year 6 as well.
That is so much money.
AND I JUST REMEMBERED!
I have another $8000 sitting in a college fund from my maternal grandmother. Which not only covers everything nicely, but leaves me with money to spare.
That changes everything.

Thank you Grandma Dee, for funding my education. You always said how proud of me you were and how I was going to be a wonderful Physical Therapist someday.

2011-05-03T16:38:00.002-05:00

I know that I live in the ice plant Hoth, otherwise known as the Frozen North, otherwise known as Wisconsin.
(What the FUCK am I doing in WISCONSIN? I mean, really?)
I know that it was my decision to come here. I know that I could have easily gone to Corvallis, Oregon; or Spokane, Washington; or Phoenix, Arizona; or even stayed in Salt Lake City.
But having a windchill of 2*F above freezing on May 3rd is just absurd!

I realized today that while I'm not consciously stressed out, I'm subconsciously in panic mode. I know this because all I want to talk about for days and day and repeat endlessly is my plan for moving. Not because I think whoever is reading this need to know or even cares, but because having it somewhere other than in my head makes me feel better about the whole thing.
The tension headache is also back. I need to recruit one of my classmates to put my neck into traction for about 5 minutes. Or just massage my occipital muscle, one of the two.

Post 425

2011-05-02T22:24:00.003-05:00

Things are very slowly being reorganized in preparation for moving out of my studio and into the apartment with Nichole, Lindsey, and Marie. I think at some point this week the above shelf and the tri-fold room divider I have will be hauled over there, and I will probably send a large box home with David after Taco Tuesday tomorrow. I'm sure I would have no trouble parting with my tiny excuse of a bookshelf soon. I'm done needed everything on it.
I keep looking around for more things to put away, but keep running into: Nope - still need that for another few days.
I think about putting my posters back into their shipping tube, but then don't, because what's the point? Having bare walls will not make the next 11 days go by any faster, it will only make it so my walls are bare and sad looking.
I would love to pack up my large fan. However, I know the instant I do the weather will take a wild shift and it will be 80* for the remainder of the time I am here. Which isn't really something I would complain about right now, as it is only 41*F, but then I would have to unpack the fan and the moment I did that it would be cold again.

On an unrelated note, I really like the movie Underworld:Rise of the Lycans. It's a perfect portrayal of vampires as I always imagined them, classy and noble. It's what you would expect to think of when you hear the word vampire, or at least would have thought of before the specification of "NOT a Twilight vampire" was necessary. I love it for the love story between Lucian and Sonja; I think mostly for how EXPERTLY DONE Micheal Sheen's portrayal of Lucian's passion for her is. Especially the scene where they open the ceiling and kill her, which sounds odd, but it's the best portrayal of... pure anguish I've ever seen.
It reminds me of Anthony. Not in a bad way though.

I'm not even worried about finals this year. I am just DONE WITH SCHOOL AND I WANT TO GO HOME RIGHT MEOW!!

May picture

2011-05-01T11:49:00.002-05:00

I want one. I want, want, want, wantwantwantwantwant one.

I'm very slowly starting to repackage my room to make moving day (Friday, May 13th) as easy as possible. Hopefully, most of my things will just go across the street to the new apartment, so I don't have to worry about moving again when I get back to school in August.
My futon is the one thing that is causing problems though. Looking at it, I KNOW it will fit in Danielle's room (the girl I am replacing in the apartment) but whether or not Danielle will let me put it in there for the two and a half weeks until their old lease is up and she moves out is the question. She said I could, as long as it "Isn't an inconvenience," to her - what her definition of inconvenience is, I don't know. But I know it would fit.
Other than that, most all of my things have already found a cozy home for the just under three months (so short?) that I will be home in Salt Lake. My kitchen table/desk is likely going to become an end table in their living room after Danielle takes her end tables with her. Marie, who has a larger bedroom, has said I can put my dresser (which will be full of my winter clothes. Hurray no more garbage bags!) in her room. My wire-rake pantry thing is obviously going in the kitchen. My nightstand will probably be used as another end table in the living room. My bookshelf is tiny and can go where ever.
And that's it. I'm so glad I don't have a lot of stuff. It's going to make moving so much easier.

If worst comes to worst and Danielle changes her mind, Nichole's father has a pick-up truck that she can borrow and we take my futon to David's house and put it in his extra bedroom.

I've got my running program figured out for the next two months. By the end of June, I will be running cycling through walking for one minute and running for ten for 3 cycles, or 33 minutes total. If I can do that with no pain, I get to cut out the walking completely, and get to start building up from 15 minutes of running beginning in July.

I can't believe that there is only a week of classes left. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
In 12 days I'm going to be a Grad Student! Which is a wonderful and terrifying idea, because it puts me one step closer to the real world.

I'll be home in 13 days. :)

fan-fucking-tastic

2011-04-30T19:49:00.002-05:00

Two weeks left in Milwaukee, the weather isn't going to be above 60* until I get home, and there is a giant hole in the butt of my ONLY pair of jeans.
Fabulous.

On the other hand, I got measured at Victoria Secret today and I'm a 34D. D??? My boobs aren't THAT big are they? The bra I found was shockingly comfortable way, in a Is-this-really-how-these-are-supposed-to-fit kind of way.
Now to see if I can find something similar at target, now that I know what size I am, that fits just as well but isn't $48!

Hi

2011-04-29T22:47:00.001-05:00

Covered a soccer game tonight at Homestead High.
It was cold.

Good day!

2011-04-28T15:44:00.003-05:00

Today we presented our semester projects for General Medicine in Athletic Training. We all picked a topic, and answered some form of the question, "How should the Certified Athletic Trainer deal with _________?" We did research all semester, put everything together on a giant poster, hung them up in the hallway outside the teaching lab, and gave a 5-10 minute presentation to all our Athletic Training teachers, as well as a few of the Exercise Science professors and our classmates from different years. Then everyone said "Oh that is so interesting, good job!" and we were told we all looked real nice.
Think junior high science fair. Except we were talking about hearts and Sudden Cardiac Death and diabetes and ACLs and Heat Exhaustion instead of growing grass with coffee or testing toothpaste on eggs. Oh, and we all knew what the fuck we were talking about.

My project was titled: "Proper Management of a Prolapsed Mitral Valve in a Competative Athletic Setting." Mitral valve prolapse is a disease of the mitral valve between the left atrium and ventricle. It's an inherited disease that causes the valve to form improperly. It can be anywhere from asymptomatic and you may never know you have it, to completely stenosed (scarred with plaque) that it is useless and allowing blood to travel backwards through the heart. Blood traveling the wrong direction is very bad, and is likely to cause an arrhythmia. As a future athletic trainer, it's my job to know what to do and know how to prepare to take care of an athlete with a prolapsed mitral valve.
For the most part, it's all about knowing your athletes, knowing if anyone has this, and what their symptoms are. Also having a set Emergency Action Plan in place if the kid were to go into a fatal arrhythmia.

I was next to Lisa who did her project on Sudden Cardiac Death, and Ryan who did his on Hypertrophy Cardiomyopathy (when the walls of your heart get abnormally thick and therefore decrease the amount of blood your heart is able to pump - it usually leads to Sudden Cardiac Death). Which is ironic, because we had no idea we would create Cardiac Corner when we stuck our posters to the wall.

And here is MY KNEE. I had a follow up with Dr. Smith today and she let me keep the copy of a copy of my Xrays. Look at that joint. The top bone is my femur and the two on the bottom are my tibia and fibula. Look at how much SPACE there is between them! All that space of full of PERFECTLY HEALTHY cartilage and a meniscus.
I'm up to running 4 cycles of 2 minutes walking/3 minutes running. On Saturday I get to add another cycle for 25 minutes total. Next week, I'll be on a 1/4 cycle, first for 15 minutes, then 20, then 25. After that, I'm allowed to increase the time I spend running by a minute every week, so 1/5 then 1/6 then 1/7. Once I get to a 1/10 cycle, if there is no pain after two weeks of running for 33 minutes total, I'm allowed to go to straight running with no walking breaks. I have to cut it back down to 15 minutes total to start, but then I'm allowed to add 5 minutes a week until I'm counting by miles instead of minutes.
Dr Smith thinks that a 5k or even 10k by the end of this summer is very doable, and that I could be doing a half marathon by this time next year if I wanted - just to make sure I actually find a training schedule to follow rather than doing what I did last time, which was just go out and run as far as I could every day.

And tonight, I'm going to a "tupperware" party my classmate Lisa (same one as above) is throwing. You know you are an athletic training student when the sentence, "I was able to score one of the 6 gallon Gatorade coolers for the punch!" not only sounds normal, but is something you have done in the past.

2011-04-27T12:42:00.002-05:00

As you can see from the first photo, these were taken in the Library.
I don't get it either.

2011-04-26T19:18:00.002-05:00

Oh look! Green things! How exciting!
I must look at this picture and be reminded that THERE IS HOPE for Spring. Maybe.
It's horrible and crappy and raining and wet outside, but it's not fuckingcold anymore, so that's an improvement. Right?

On Thursday I am going to a Pure Romance Party that one of the girls in my class is hosting. And by Pure Romance I mean Sex Toys/Accesories Tupperware party.
Should be fun.
Never would have put this girl in that category, but I guess you never judge a book by its cover.

2011-04-25T09:46:00.008-05:00

A different perspective on things.

Around 4:30pm, my future roommate Lindsey asked if I wanted to go on an adventure, and it was either that or sit in my apartment by myself and be mindnumbingly bored; so I went over to the other apartment. We coaxed Kiel to stop doing nothing upstairs and come play.
First, we drove to the River West, which is by UWM, and go figure, west of the river. We found a park to play at for a little bit, but then Lindsey got cold cause she is always cold and as much as it is APRIL FOR GODSSAKE AND SHOULD BE WARM, it is not, no matter how much we pretend. So Lindsey directed us to a cafe/bar (which is weird to me, and weird to them that it is weird to me) called Fuel, and we all got wonderfully delicious coffee drinks and all kind of picked at two sandwiches, talked about how Kiel ended up in Milwaukee from Purto Rico, and about how one of the sandwiches had this DELICIOUS soft cheese (guda?) and wouldn't it be wonderful if we lived in a place where we could eat cheese and french bread everyday. Like France, but without.. the French part.
Then we went bowling in this place that was actually a basement (but it wasn't weird because we were on the East Side and that is the trendy and hip part of town and there are lots of Fun Bars and coffee shops fucking everywhere and Boutiques full of Overpriced Crap.) that had a bowling ally (were we kept score by hand) an arcade, and three little (all separate from each other) bars. Lindsey cheated at bowling- not sure how, but every time her ball was headed for the gutter it would suddenly get MAD SPIN, and curve back into the middle of the lane. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. The one time she did manage to get it in the gutter, it popped back out at the last second and gave her a spare.
Then we played arcade games for a little bit and ended up with 373 tickets, which gave us: A pack of friendship bracelets, 2 packs of fruit snacks + 1 pack of Swedish fish, a mini yo-yo that isn't very good, and a plastic flower ring. I now have very crappy blue jelly/plastic bracelet that I will probably leave on for a very long time because it means I HAVE FRIENDS IN MILWAUKEE. Not just Nichole, who is a singular friend, but other people who like me enough to make sure I'm not alone on Easter when Nichole goes home to Green Bay. (Even though Nichole did invite me to go with, I declined because her family is all SUPER CATHOLIC and I didn't feel like going to church every day of break.)

Playing on the swings at the park, feeling like a child, and like nothing matters.

Cheating Lindsey with her Cheating Hat.

Kiel

2011-04-24T15:54:00.002-05:00

This is my brother:
(As you can see, we take after different sides of the family)
We were not close when we were kids. We didn't fight necessarily (no one fights in my family) but we never had that sibling bond that some brothers and sisters have. Sometime during my Sophomore year of High School, November I believe as I had just broken up with Blake for the last time, we were driving home from school and it seemed to dawn on us that we were no longer 7 and 9, and we could actually have a conversation. About things.
Sometimes, it seems like he, my nerdy, Dungeons and Dragons, National Test Out Champion, Computer Engineer brother, is the only one who really understands what I do in school.
My dad seems to get it, more so than my mom anyway, who sees Athletic Training only as a stepping stone for me onto Physical Therapy. No matter how many times I've told her that right now I'm an athletic training student, she insists on telling people that I'm in PT school and will not acknowledge my undergraduate degree - nevermind it is that undergrad that has taught me everything I know so far that she finds so impressive.
Most males I tell just go, "Oh man! So do you ever get a chance to work with the Men's Basketball team? Cause that would be great!" No, I never did work with them, and I'm so glad I didn't - biggest bunch of egotistical, unintelligent, children I've ever met. Working with the Men's Soccer team and Women's Track team however, was a wonderful experience.
That one girl who's friends with some of my Exercise Science counterparts, who thought all we did all class was watch ESPN so we could learn the rules and how to play all different sports. Um... not quite sweetheart.

But my brother is really the only one who not only asks me about all aspects of my knowledge, from injury to nutrition to proper hydration, but he is also the one who seems to listen to what I tell him and follow my advice. Last year, when he asked me not to feel like crap after a work out, I told him to drink more water. A week later, I got a message from him saying that he now carries a water bottle with him to work and feels SO MUCH BETTER. When I suggested he replace his 4 year old running shoes he asked me what brand and what style and where to get them. He asks me about the physiological reasoning behind shin splints and why he is only just getting them now.
I know Drew secretly takes my advice. I have heard him defend the advice I give to others with a simple, "Dude, look, she KNOWS what she is talking about. She goes to school for this. She didn't get it out of some magazine from a meat-head like you do." But he has yet to ask me, to my face, about anything, yet to admit to me that he is indeed following my advice and he does believe I know what I'm talking about. I ask him if he will listen to me when I'm a doctor. Sometimes it's disheartening to hear him say "No," even though I know the internal answer is, "Of course, I listen to you now."

My brother is the smartest person I know. Like crazy brilliant smart.
And I think it's funny, that I was on the fence of liking my hair being this short, swaying back and forth between thinking it was cute and thinking it was stupid until he said "Hey, I like it!" And now I like it, cause apparently my big brother's opinion matters to me the most.

2011-04-23T17:42:00.002-05:00

Here's a picture of, well, you know, stuff.

I took a different route to the grocery store than usual today. Took some side streets rather than just walking down Wisconsin Ave. until I got to the street the store is on. I ended up walking through MOSE's (Milwaukee School of Engineering) campus, which was interesting. I was in city, and then suddenly I was on a college campus, then in the city again. Campus buildings mixed in with city buildings is still interesting to me.
I also find all the old buildings in the area interesting. I want to know what all the apartments look like on the inside. I wonder who lives there and how they made their house look different than mine. I wonder what goes on in all the office buildings, what people are doing in there, if there is even people in them. I wonder about the buildings that are a business on the bottom and apartments on the upper floors, cause that is silly.

2011-04-22T15:51:00.002-05:00

Anyone want to take a guess as to which loop my belt always got buckled on?
Sigh.
Now I need a new belt. I've been able to just shove the buckle through the fabric for the last...week?... or so, but every day one more row of cloth frays and I don't know how much longer this is going to last.

I need a lot of new clothes actually. New belt; new bras - I think I'm going to be adventurous and buy some with MORE THAN ONE COLOR on them for the first time whenever I get around to buying them; new underwear; new jeans - I refuse to buy them if they do not fit perfectly; new shoes; and probably new black slacks.
Ugh. So many things. So much money.

I got an "Easter Basket" in the mail from my mom yesterday, complete with that horrible plastic grass that I really dislike but don't have the heart to tell my mom because she thinks she's being cute and I don't want to ruin that for her. I got granola bars to snack on for the next three weeks, a giftcard to Starbucks (sweet!), a can of soup (?), and some candy. I know this sounds horrible and makes me sound like a spoiled brat... but I'm going to say it anyway... there was no money in this package. There's ALWAYS been money in our Easter baskets. When we were little, it was never spending money, just a check we would turn around and give back to dad to put into our savings account. But the past two years there's been about $50 in my Easter package, which my dad liked to call "some spending cash-o-la." And I have to admit, I am slightly disappointed. I was looking forward to spending cash; Nichole and I were planning on going out to dinner sometime next week.

There's just so much less money in my checking account than there was this time last year. Not so much so that I'm worried about food or rent or anything... for this year. But I have three more years of school.
And this is my last summer to work and attempt to build up my checking account at all.
But this is also my last summer break.
Ever.
I'm torn between working two jobs and trying to get 50-60 hours a week again for the two and a half months that I'm going to be home or just being content with what I get at Hand and Ortho and being able to go on lots trips (San Francisco?) and just have fun. I still owe my parents $10,000 for school and right now that's about $6000 more than I have. I know I'll never make that much this summer, but I can at least try to get them the $5000 I owe for my fifth year right? Then pay them back the rest after I graduate and get a job?

Well, I just talked to my mom, who said my parents are feeling rich, and that I should play this summer.
That solves that I guess.

patellafemoral

2011-04-21T18:57:00.003-05:00

I've been forgetting that my hair is short. I know it has only been a day, but it's so short that I can't feel it on the back of my neck; I'm so used to having a ponytail everyday my head feels...odd without it, but it happens to be the same exact feeling as well you pull your hair too tight into a bun. I just forget that my hair isn't actually in a bun like it always was before.
Then I'll reach back to brush it behind my ear, and I'm still shocked that my hand is grasping nothing a mere 3 inches from my head, unlike the 14 inches I had at the beginning of the week. I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a window and there is a completely different person looking back at me.

I got to see two surgeries today. Two knees. The first one I wasn't actually supposed to go to, but when I told the lady at the front desk of the Surgery Unit which Doc I was with, who I was there to see, and what I was there too see; she said, "Well I don't know nothing 'bout that." Then a nurse/orderly/PA/person in blue scrubs came out, told me to follow him, showed me where to get my own scrubs and let me into an operating suite.
I tried to explain that the girl lying on the table was NOT the person I was supposed to see, but Dr. Gordon was in there and he told me my Marquette Track Girl was the next surgery and that I should just stay and watch the one that was starting then. I tried to insist that I really would just like to be taking the Track Girl's room, because I was supposed to be meeting Danielle there. But it was too late, the surgery had started, and Mr. Blue Scrubs was not going to take me anywhere. Mind you, I have never been in the Surgery wing of the hospital, only to Dr. Gordon's actual office (once) and the pharmacy (once). I'm was not about to go wandering out of the OR and get yelled at because I'm in a Sterile environment and I have not scrubbed up myself. So I watched the surgery. I kept getting told by the snotty ER Nurse not to faint into her sterile instruments. I didn't faint. I didn't even feel light headed when they were jamming scopes and tendon grafts and scalpels into this random girl's knee.
Two and a half hours later, surgery was over, and Mr. Blue Scrubs told me I could head to the lounge and get a drink before the next surgery, or go back to the locker room where I left my coat after changing into my own scrubs and booties and mask and cap. I said politely, "No, I really just need to be taken to where ever Track Girl is." So he looked annoyed I didn't just know how to get there and let me on a winding journey through doors and past equipment and more doors and surgical instruments.
When I finally got to Danielle and Track Girl, they told me about how they thought I had been abducted cause I texted Danielle when I left my house, yet never showed up to Track Girl's room. Apparently Nichole, David, and DPS had all been called, and they had only had someone figure out to tell them I was in the OR after they called the Emergency Room and asked if I was lying on my own table down there. Personally, I felt bad because they had worried. I felt silly for not bringing my phone to the OR with me, especially when all the other non-sterile people in there kept pulling theirs out. Mostly though, I was pissed off at the incompetent lady at the front desk who didn't even know which patients were checked into the department she was working, and at Mr. Blue Scrubs for shoving me into booties and the OR instead of just taking me to Track Girl and Danielle.
Then there was Track Girl's surgery, which was way cooler than the first one.
So, after 7 hours of standing and doing nothing but stand in one spot and watch a arthroscope screen, my feet and back are killing me. All I want to do get get food and take a nap.
But decided to go on an adventure with Lindsey instead, because that would have been more fun than sleeping, and I enjoy being not on campus. At the piercing place it was suggested I try surgical steal earings, and see if I react as... violently itchy... to that metal as I do to sterling silver. I would think not, personally, as surgical steal is the stuff they use in, well, surgical things. I would hope that the things they could possibly use to cut into my insides one day would not give me cracked, bleeding, swollen, itchy, hives the way earings do to my earlobes. Perhaps I will buy a pair and see how it goes. If well, perhaps I will get a surgical steal belt as well, as to not get the spider bite impersonation on my stomach.

Today was supposed to be a running day for me. It's too late to get to the gym now. And I really don't feel like doing anything. So I will take my long-awaited nap and then work on my physics report.
Ready. Break!

... gone tomorrow

2011-04-20T19:15:00.002-05:00

For a while I was considering going super short. Like spikeable short. But then I realized it would take nearly a year to go from spikable short to where it is now, and it will take at least 3 years to go from where it is now to where it was.
And honestly?
I want long hair for my wedding. Which I figure is approximately 3 to 4.5 years away, depending on many factors. So just enough time to get my hair long again.

Everyone has said that my hair is "super cute" so far. And I agree. I really like it. Do I like it as much as long hair? Not right now. But I'm sure I will when my shampoo suddenly lasts 3x as long, and when it doesn't take hours to dry, and when it's not sticking to my back when I take it out its bun after I get home from the gym.
hmmm... ponytails. I'll miss those for awhile. I can make one if I really try though. I just think it will be about an inch long and use 12 bobby pins.

Part of me wishes Drew wouldn't be so frowny face over this and be slightly more supportive. But he never gave the impression that he would be, nor was I ever brought to believe he would.
He said he'll think I'm beautiful no matter what though, so I guess that's good enough.

Hair today.

2011-04-19T15:13:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow at 11am I will be donating my hair to Locks of Love.
Today is the last time for the next three or so years that I will have hair like this.
I'm excited.
I'm nervous.
I'm scared it's going to look horrible on me.
But it will grow back.

So to make myself feel better I let Inside Michelle out and took pictures and was generally super vain about it.
Sometimes, I wish it was socially acceptable to wear my fishnet tights in the athletic training room or in class.
Sometimes I think I could have been a flapper girl in the roaring 20's.
And then I LAUGH SO FUCKING HARD because that is so ridiculous because why the hell would I want to live in the 20's and be considered less of a person because I am a woman?
I don't even like dresses.

2011-04-18T08:28:00.002-05:00

I don't care who you are, where you are from, or what kind of weather you like.
Snow on April 18th is bullshit.

This morning my alarm went of, awaking me from such a beautiful dream that I wanted to cry.

2011-04-17T19:18:00.002-05:00

There is a deck of playing cards scattered around the area. This one was in the grass in front of the apartment building next to mine (20th street), I saw them in the bushes in front of the Dental School and the Blood Center, in the planters in front of Humphry Hall on 17th street, and there was a Jack in front of the Library on 15th street. I believe I can see one on the front lawn of the house that is across the other street (Michigan Ave) from my apartment.
That house by the way, is not an unofficial Frat House like I originally thought. It is the Men's Rugby House, where senior members of the club team live. Which explains why there is so much beer.

2011-04-16T15:47:00.002-05:00

Today I woke up from a very warm cuddly-type nap to see that it is snowing. Which leaves me very unsatisfied with the weather and having every desire to crawl back into bed.
Unfortunately for my napping, I do have things to do. Not urgent MUST BE DONE NOW kinds of things.
To be honest, they are things that can be put off until tomorrow, like cleaning my apartment.
Things that can be put off till sometime during the week, like a lab report and reading.
Things that can be put off for at least a week, like correcting my Gen Med poster.
Actually, it would seem that the only thing I really need to do today is go to the gym, which can be put off until about 8 or 9 o'clock tonight.
And it IS only Saturday. I still have all of tomorrow to sleep in and then do all my cleaning and reading and physics homework.

So really, going back to sleep is a wonderful idea.

MA! The Meatloaf!

2011-04-15T11:15:00.003-05:00

Name that movie?
10 points awarded for a correct answer.

Last night I made myself a real dinner. By that I mean the protein, grain, and vegetable where all eaten at the same time, not over a span of two hours like I usually do.
I made meatloaf from my Grandma Schaaf's recipe. It's the kind of recipe that calls for 1 lb of ground beef, oatmeal, onion, ketchup, milk, an egg, and two slices of soggy bread; the kind of recipe that states these ingredients MUST be mixed BY HAND in a large bowl; the kind of recipe that gives you three lbs of meatloaf despite only having 1 lb of ground beef in it. My grandma's family was poor-as-dirt for a while when she was growing up, so she learned how to make stuff like that work.
It didn't turn out quite up to Grandma-quality, probably cause I didn't have a fresh onion so I had to use dried, and I probably didn't use the right kind of bread. But it's still good, and it makes me happy that I now have the recipe for meatloaf.

2011-04-14T15:19:00.003-05:00

Today was The Best Day.

This morning, I had an appointment with Dr. Smith, who is the head team physician for Marquette, about my knee. I figured it had been about a year since the pain started, and I for a year I've cut back on my miles, I've stretched, I've strengthened, I've biked, I've ellipticaled, I've tried new shoes. After a year, nothing is working, so it was time for another evaluation.
For the past week, I've been setting myself up to hear that I have permanent cartilage damage and if I care about the long term health of my knees I will stop running for good. I was ready to take that diagnosis with a brave face then cry myself to sleep about it for the next three months.
But there is a reason I set up this appointment with Dr. Smith and not Dr. Grove, who I like a bit more, and usually do my Sports Med. appointments with. And that reason is that Dr. Smith runs UltraMarathons, which means she is running anywhere from 50 miles to 100 miles to 135 miles through Death Valley in a single sitting, to 24 hour runs for distance. Dr. Smith gets running. This was my last ditch effort to see if she would have something else for me to try, because she knows all too well that she can't simply tell me to Stop Running.
So we talked for a bit. And she poked and prodded and found my plica and watched me walk.
And then she said the most wonderful sentence I've heard in a very long time:

"I don't think this is structural. What I'm finding does not indicate permanent damage."

And I, halfway though starting to say, "I guess I will try to take up swimming," just stared at her for a minute. "It's... NOT permanent?"

No. Not permanent. Mechanical. Not structural.
Which means it could be as simple as taking the inserts out of my running shoes and replacing them with a Dr. Shoal's insert that will offer cushioning and not effect my biomechanics.
For you see, I've been wearing the same type of shoe and same type of insert for arch support since I was 15. I didn't really have problems until last year, so I've always just walked into Wasatch Running, held up my running shoe and said, "I need a new one of these, size 8."
It never occurred to me to have someone look at my feet in the past 6 years to make sure I haven't changed. I never thought that while my hips widened and chest developed and rib cage expanded and I packed on muscle that my feet might actually be changing too.
I've been in a neutral shoe for the past 6 years. The next time I need new shoes I'm to get a cushioning shoe made for people who have high arches. That will be fun. I really like the people at Wasatch Running, and running shoe shopping is the only type of shopping I don't hate.

There is some grinding in my left knee under the kneecap. More so than in the right knee. That's a fact. But it's likely not due to degradation of my joint, but rather scar tissue and swelling that never really goes away because I never really give myself a chance to fully heal before I'm off running again.
Dr. Smith even wrote me up a schedule to follow for how I should be running. It looks crazy to me, to walk 3 minutes and only run 2 two for a total of 15 minutes the first week, but if it works, then it works!

I do have an x-ray tomorrow to figure out just what the grinding in my knee is from and if it would be possible to go in and scope it out to clean it up. (Insurance permitting of course). The idea of expensive medical things without my parents around is slightly intimidating, but my dad should be calling me when he gets home from work to talk insurance things.

Then I got back to my apartment and had this email:

*Name blocked so HIPPA doesn't swoop down and get me.
I AM SO STOKED TO WATCH A SURGERY!!!
I'm also loving the fact that Danielle offered the opportunity to me first, even though I am not assigned to this athlete's sport anymore. Usually the people who are officially assigned to the team get to go to surgery, but she was so impressed with me from before Spring break that she thinks I should get to go.
Woot WOOT!

2011-04-13T07:54:00.002-05:00

About 3 hours post-shower my hair is still slightly damp and I can get it to do whatever I want.
Last night, I got really bored reading physics, so I started twirling bits of my hair around my finger in very BoredGril kind of way.
Which turned into tight, perfect, ringlettes all over my head.

When shaken out, they end up looking like this:

Which, to me, seems a bit unfair. Why is it that my hair is only nice and bouncy and curly and light at 10 o'clock at night when I'm about ready for bed and no one will see it unless I take a silly webcab photo and put it on my blog to prove to the world that I am capable of existing even if my hair is not in a ponytail.
This morning, I got up a few minutes early in an attempt to recreate the awesomeness that was last night. Unfortunately, I was trying to look nice because I had somewhere to be (class) and therefore my hair is nothing but droppy, frizzy, knotted, and sticking out at odd angles. Of course.
I gave up awhile ago. It's back in a ponytail. It's a nicer-than-usual-ponytail though. That's got to count for something right?

2011-04-12T17:53:00.002-05:00

Today was a beautiful, warm, sunny day.

All my tests are already over for the week, so I guess it wasn't too bad.

My cold has migrated to my sinuses. I hate to admit that I've been that one sniffly kid in the class on a few occasions. I'm trying to blow my nose as much as possible to just get it over with though. I hate the sniffly kid and I especially hate BEING the sniffly kid.

For awhile I was drinking Stash brand Chai Tea, cause I had a coupon for it, but now I'm back to Roundy's store brand, which is even cheaper than Lipton. I've never been one to by things just for a brand, and I definitely never want to be that tea-snob hippie that only drinks tea leaves that were pressed in house and brewed through a cute little draw string baggie - but there is definitely a difference between a $0.65 cup of tea and a $0.15 cup of tea.

I try to be super frugal all the time. I've cut my grocery budget to under $30 most weeks, and I've been trying not to buy things I don't need. I consider it a splurge when I get Jimmy Johns or Q'Doba once a month for dinner. The only time I've ever bought a drink at Starbucks is when I have a giftcard (which still has enough for one more drink on it...) And the way I look at it, is if I buy the Roundy's brand peanut butter that is $0.05 an ounce less than Skippy, that's $0.05 an ounce I have that I can use to pay back my student loans when I graduate.
And I know $0.05 here and $1.00 there adds up. If you look at how much money I've spent this semester compared to last semester I've spent about $200 less than I had at this point in the semester last year. For me, $200 is a lot of money. It's half a month of rent. It's textbooks (all of them if I look hard enough). It's money I can spend on gifts for people I like. It's money I can put towards my student loans in the 6 month grace period they give me before they start gaining interest. It's thousands of dollars I will save in interest.
But sometimes I want nice things. I want Eggo Waffles for breakfast and Frosted Mini Wheats instead of plain instant oatmeal even though a 42 oz carton of oatmeal is like... hella efficient for a poor college student. I want the $4 coffee-mocha-caramel-raspberry-frapachino-with-whip-cream.
... I want tea bags that don't leak ground up tea leaves into my mug...

And I know one day I will be at that point. I will eventually get to the place where my parents are, where $200 is chump change and if you want something you just buy it and the only time money ever comes up is when tuition is due and it's not a question of WHERE they will come up with $15000 at once but only WHICH ACCOUNT would it be best to take it out of for tax purposes.
I will have nice clothes that fit because I don't have to buy them off the clearance rack and say "For $7.50 this pair of jeans can be a little off," and I will have steak for dinner just cause I want it and a speedy little car that gets excellent gas mileage and a house with a back porch.

Sniff cough

2011-04-11T10:47:00.002-05:00

This is how I plan on getting though the next few days of hell week:

Step 1) Admit that I have come down with a cold/the flu due to my dieting habits over the last three weeks. I have been getting adequate nutrition, in the form of vitamins and minerals, but I been restricting calories as a whole and working out obsessively enough that I've been in a negative Caloric balance every day but one since the 21st of March. Did forcing my body into working on converting fat stores into energy to make up the balance compromise my immune system? Yes. Do I look fucking great because of it? Yes. I've lost 2 centimeters off my waist, hips, and thighs. I have decreased the amount of fat on my body from 33.075 lbs to 29.1 lbs. while increasing muscle mass. Do I think I've probably been a bit extreme over the past three weeks and could tone it down a bit from here on out? Probably.
If you have seen Eddie Izzard talk about the creation of the world, and remember the part where he is saying, "And cabbages, public toilets in French camping sites, and Rowanda?, and grandparents, and trees, cats, bread pudding, and hats, things that go 'uuuuhhhgggg'" and on that last one he kind of does a kind of creeping/slimy hand motion. You know what I'm talking about? That's how my whole body feels. I would just like my boyfriend to be here to snuggle me till I fall asleep and make me soup.

Step 2) Buy Dayquil and Sprite. Or in my case, Walgreens Brand Cold Relief and 7up cause it's cheaper. You know how store brand things always say "Compare to -Expensive Brand- active ingredients." I did. Same drugs in the same amounts per capsule as Dayquil. Acetaminophen, Dexromethophan HBr, Phenylephrine HCl. It's exactly the same stuff, just HALF AS MUCH cause it's in a brown and white box instead of an orange one. And Acetaminophen? Yeah, that's straight up motherfucking Tylenol.

Step 3) Sleep as much as possible. I'm finding this harder than you would think. It's gotten about 50* in Milwaukee, which means it's about 80* in my apartment an 4000% humidity (This may or may not be a fever-induced exaggeration). And my brain is generally refusing to shut down and sleep. Asshole brain.

Step 4) Wash my sheets. As it was 80* out yesterday (glorious! I wore shorts :D ) I now have the uncontrollable urge to SPRING CLEAN ALL THE THINGS. I just got the image of myself hanging sheets on a line in my backyard to dry. Don't understand it, but there you go.

Step 5) Eat an orange. Eat some soup. Eat some rice. EAT ALL THE THINGS I WANT CAUSE MY BODY NEEDS MORE CALORIES THAN USUAL BECAUSE FIGHTING OFF ILLNESS IS WORK TOO.

Step 6) Rock all my tests.

2011-04-10T11:27:00.002-05:00

Here is a another step-by-step chronicle of something that I have done.
Today's topic: Egg in a Basket
When: Last night
Occasion: Dinner

I don't have cookie cutters, so I used a cup to make the hole. No fun shapes but points for imagination!

Flipped. Of course it is burnt on one edge of the toast and not cooked on the other.

Yolk = Perfect.

I feel like I'm getting sick. Really body? Really? This cannot be happening right now:
Monday: Physics Exam
Tuesday: Exercise Prescription/EKG Exam, Physics Lab, General Medicine Practical Exam, Cognitive and Motor Learning Qziz
Thursday: General Medicine Project due
I have WAY TOO MUCH SHIT TO DO to be stuck in bed with a fever.

I'll take a shower. Showers fix everything right?

And then I thought, maybe I should wash my sheets too. GUESS WHO HAS NO QUARTERS AND IT IS SUNDAY SO SHE CAN'T GO TO THE BANK!

2011-04-09T15:36:00.003-05:00

Watching some childrens play soccer. It was miserably cold and in the five hours I was there I gave out two ice bags. I've got about an hour and a half left of the break in the games before I have to be back down at Valley Fields for the last game. But when the check for over $100 comes from Marquette Soccer School, six hours at valley will be totally worth it.

I would apologize about the quality of this photo, but when it was taken, I was just about too cold to function, so deal with it.

body image

2011-04-08T10:17:00.004-05:00

Today I made an almost perfect over-easy egg for breakfast. The bottom may have been slightly burnt, but the yolk was still runny enough to dip a slice of toast in. Until now I had been having problems with the yolk, it always ended up being cooked too long and therefore was undipable.

Sometimes, I wish my shoulders weren't so broad and I did have pec muscles, or deltoids, or biceps. Sometimes I see what other girls on campus are wearing and wonder why I've never been able to fit into the cute things. For as long as I can remember, if I buy a nice-type shirt (a fabric other than cotton) it will either fit in the waist, or it will fit across the shoulders. Never both. Never. If I want a button down shirt that I have full motion of my arms with, the waist is baggy and simply looks too big. If I buy a shirt that is fitted to my waist, I can barely squeeze my arms into it, and buttoning it over my chest is laughable.
If I buy pants that fit over my butt and hips, you can bet there is a 2 to 3 inch gap between the waist of the pants and my body. I have no idea what it is like to have pants that fit in the waist, because if I were to get that size, I couldn't get them up past the middle of my thighs.
I've always been built like this. When I was little, I would get my pants from the boys section because that was the only way they would be long enough in the leg yet stay up. I will always be built like this. Whenever I go shopping with my mom we'll have me try on pair of pants after pair after pair and none of them fit right, and she reassures me that one day I will find the brand that fits my Schaff-built lower half.

But then I'll pull out my Slim-Cut Men's size Small cotton t-shirt I got last fall from working with Men's Soccer. And the seems on my shoulders will fall where they are supposed to, the shirt doesn't billow away from my sides but rather follows my ribs down to my waist, because it is a men's shirt there's not an awkward maybe/maybe not too short gap between the hem of my shirt and the waist of my pants. I'll pull on a sports bra that doesn't judge the fact that my boobs are not exactly the same size and not perfectly positioned on my chest like a regular bra does. I'll pull on an underarmor long sleeve shirt that stretches over my shoulders and hugs my torso perfectly.
And I feel sexier being an athlete than I ever have trying to be a girl.

Today is the fifth birthday that Drew has had while we have been dating.
Today is the fifth time that I cannot be with him.

Chroni-WHAT-cles of Narnia!

2011-04-07T15:17:00.002-05:00

Not really. There is no magical wardrobe in my apartment that leads to Narnia. There isn't a wardrobe in my apartment at all actually. And I do not care for the series.
This is a chronicle of my Walk to Class.

Look at the clock, it takes me about 7 minutes to walk to this particular class, but I figure if I am chronicling then I should give myself some extra time:

Lock the door because I definitely trust no one in this apartment complex not to enter my apartment and steal things:

Very blurry hallway:

Down the stairs from the third floor. This is always an indicator of how my knee is doing. I can feel fine walking around, but if my knee hurts as I go down the stairs on my way to the gym I know running is for sure out:

Check for coupons. Today there was one for milk!

Wonder why I live in such a shit-hole place. The more I talk to people the more they just feel bad that my whole preception of Wisconsin is almost-wrong-side-of-the-tracks-Milwaukee. They all promise me the rest of the state is very nice.

Take the random warn-down path that cuts a grand 30 seconds off my travel time:

Cross the street, watch for cars pulling out of the student parking lot to the right and the dental school parking lot to the left:

Envy the Camaro in the dental school parking lot:

Change music to The Rolling Stones:

Dental school. Think about how I need to inquire about whether or not they offer very cheap cleanings performed by the dental students:

Worry about spontaniously turning into a gypsy and bursting into interpretive dance, which would involve lots of slow twirling in circles, while I listen to Paint It Black.

Think about how you can see at least 1 Blue Light phone where ever you are on campus:

Arrive at Cramer Hall for General Medicine in Athletic Training.

2011-04-07T02:56:00.003-05:00

Guess who has to be in class in 5 hours!
Guess who is WIDE FUCKING AWAKE!

Um, yup. That would be me.

Perhaps I am falling back into the manic/depressive cycles that dominated sophomore year. That would be fine really. If this is the start of manic mode, then I'll be GOGOGOGOGO!! for about 5-8 days. That will get me through my physics, exercise prescription, general medicine, and cog motor exams next week. Then I can fall into depressive mode and sleep all weekend.

Or I'm just JACKED UP on all the cortisol that's being released into my system thanks to the fact that yesterday I went into OH GOD NO NOT ENOUGH TIME LEFT IN SCHOOL TO DO IT ALL!! Which is silly of me to think, because my Gen. Med project/poster is finished over a week early and my tests next week aren't going to be that difficult. Maybe my system is realizing it DOESN'T need the stress hormone and is now unsure of what to do with it, because I am not currently stressing.

Maybe I should just stop taking naps at 8 o'clock at night.

2011-04-06T12:27:00.002-05:00

What an excellent idea random newspaper! I fully believe the best part about birthdays/chirstmas/thanksgiving/celebrations is that there is leftover cake or pie in the fridge and when there is leftover cake or pie you are always allowed to eat it even if you are 7 and you have to go to school that day it didn't even matter in my family cause we love food.

But this is why I don't have nice things:

Did the plate break? Of course not, plates and glasses never break when I drop them. It just made a mess.

2011-04-05T12:17:00.002-05:00

Every now and then, my irrational side takes over. The part of my brain that likes to dwell on the past, things that don't matter, and things that won't change. The part of my brain that is the fascist leader of all my self-esteem issues, all the negative things I think about myself; the part of my brain that never ceases it's desire to convince me that I do not deserve to be happy.
Lately, I've been good at getting that part of my brain to SHUT THE GODDAMN HELL UP. I don't work hard to ensure I'm miserable in Milwaukee, I enjoy the time I have to myself while on the bus, I enjoy taking walks down town and to the grocery store when it's above freezing outside; I let myself have friends that I cannot wait to live with next year.

But every now and then, irrational brain teams up with crazygirlbrain and wage ware on rational and logical brain.

About a month ago, they made a break in the defenses. And to be quite honest, I kind of lost it for a while there. I actually became convinced that my boyfriend (you know, the one who has stuck by me and loved me for the past four years, three of those four years in a long-distance relationship.) was only with me because he wanted to spend the rest of his life riding around on the coat tails of my success and ambition. I was convinced that he didn't care enough about me to try and do anything with his life.
This is not to say that I didn't think he loved me. I knew he did. But when he would say, "I don't need anything else to be happy but you." My brain interpreted that as, "I don't have to try for anything better, because you are good enough to keep me satisfied." I interpreted that to mean he didn't feel the need to better himself because he already had what he wanted. I interpreted that as he wasn't going to better himself because he was going to marry the doctor and I would just go ahead and provide for everything.
And this "realization" infuriated me. To the point where I was prepared to break up with the man and throw away everything that we had done over the past four years and erase all the plans we had made. How dare he not try to better himself while I am out here in fucking Milwaukee, WISCONSIN becoming a mother fucking DOCTOR so I can ensure that we have a better life and we have all we want. How dare he not try to figure out what he loves to do and pursue it.
How dare he.

It was with Rational and Logical Brain's dying breath that it pleaded, "Talk to him first."

So I went home for Spring Break, got lost in the butterflies he still causes in my stomach, distracted by the way he makes my knees buckle when we kiss. And I would think to myself, "I can't lose this. I love him so much. But maybe that's not enough."
So, very unfairly, I blindsided the poor man with all sorts of accusations and ill-formed sentences that kind of trickled off into the Land of I Don't Know How To Put This Into Words Without Yelling.
Naturally, he pouted for a while, but we both got over it and things were better, but not great, they were barely good.

Then, the night before I came back to Milwaukee, he brought it up. And he explained everything.
He explained why it had taken so long for him to come up with a response, and how he knows how his family fights (using guilt and finding the most hurtful thing to say in order to win the argument) and how he knows I was not brought up in a family that fought and how he knows I can't emotionally handle that kind of conversation/argument when he can.
He explained how much my accusations hurt him because of how out of the blue they were.
He explained what he meant about a lot of things.

Because his mind and my mind are very different. They work in different ways and they process in different ways and they see the world differently.
Our lives are very different. Having Marquette and Athletic Training and Physical Therapy and Residencies fall into place was how my life worked; and that's not how it went for him.
And when he's not looking for a major to start an education on, and not looking for a career change that will make him happier than Smiths, it's not because he doesn't want to, or because he doesn't want to put the effort in, or because he is content with not perfection.
It's because he knows that where he is right now is the best place for him to be for me.
He knows that where he is offers fantastic flexibility in his schedule, allowing him to take off a whole week when I come home and then go right back to working 40 hours a week.
It's the best job stability there is. He's guaranteed to move up in the company when he wants and at a time that would be most convenient for us.

So he's not staying there because it's the easiest thing to do, or he thinks he doesn't need to work for anything else. It's because he is willing to be unhappy with his job to ensure I get to go were I want to go, and do what I want to do, and become who I want to become. He's where he is because he believes that nothing short of Everything I Want, is good enough for me, and he believes it is his responsibility to make sure I can have it.

And that to me, is a better show of love than all of the flowers, teddy bears, or diamonds he could ever buy.

2011-04-04T12:04:00.002-05:00

This is chilling at the Milwaukee War Memorial, which is down by the lake.

It's still cloudy and miserable looking outside, the kind of weather that makes me want to curl up in bed with a mug of tea and watch lots of movies all day. HOWEVA! My sources at weather.com tell me that it will not drop below 40*F for the next 10 days. Which is nice, because next Saturday, the 9th, I will be hanging out at The Valley for most of the day, providing medical coverage to a bunch of soccer hooligans or something. It's currently slated to be 57*F on Saturday. Hmm, acceptable.

Also, I've got 8 pounds of oranges in my fridge. Yay.

2011-04-03T12:15:00.007-05:00

Went to the future apartment last night and hung out with the future roommates for a bit and got very, very, drunk in the present.
All conversations were highly sexual, as per usual. Although the boyfriend (yet another Andrew) of a friend (co-blogger? Megan) of one of the future roommates (Lindseh) had some things to say about the Mind Of The Boy, which I thought were actually wonderful things to hear, and they made me feel much better about some of the insecurities I have in my own relationship.
Typing is hurting my brain, so here are pictures to show the progression of the rest of the night (pictures stolen from Lindseh):

All the ladies in attendance. Picture taken by the gentlemanly boyfriend of the gal in the gray sweater.

Everything is good. Having nice conversations about vibrators and oral, and tiny girl is still upright.

Future roommates, roommate M and I are definitely tipsy at this point. Superpowers you ask? Of course, I grant them now. Super not breaking glass things when dropped on the kitchen floor (me), Super Orgasm Woman (Lindsey), Perky Tits Girl (Marie), Super Tallest One In the Apartment (Nichole).

Good thing only like 4 people read this blog.

Oh. Well then.

Cat Hat. No animals were harmed in the making of this picture. In fact, PheobeCat puts up with what they do to her so well that I'm starting to think she likes it. Kind of like how Ruben likes to be held against the ceiling and wiped across the hardwood like a duster.

Wooooo(!!!) floor. I am the big spoon for booze. At this point I am not THAT horribly drunk. I don't think. Anyway, the stuff in the square bottle by my knee is called Apple Pie. It was more cinnamony that I would have liked, but still very good.

Things went a bit down hill after everyone went home, but it did help me figure out how much alcohol = fun!college!hurray! and how much = dehydration/dying/toilets :( frowny face.

It's a learning experience for me.

What else. Oh! Right! It was rainy all morning and then around noon I hear this banging and so I look outside and see:

FURYHAIL!! Or at least what I assume is furyhail. I've heard of such Midwest hail storms (this one even had lightning) and hope I finally experienced one.

It hailed and threw a royal fit for about three minutes then went back to being a light sprinkle.

My size 7.5 - 8 foot. For reference.

And now I need to drink more water and go back to sleep.

2011-04-02T17:41:00.002-05:00

These were taken yesterday in conjunction with the picture of Lake Michigan. While taking that picture, the city proper was too my back (west).

To the north, you see all the apartment complexes and condos that are outrageously expensive because they are "Lake Front." The further north you go, the nicer it gets. North and east along the lake is Rich People Land, while north and west towards UWM is hipsterville. Eventually, north and west turns into Shorewood, Bayshore, and Mequon where Homestead High School is. Mequon is the super nice city, were everyone is either a doctor, lawyer, or engineer and lives in these gorgeous looking houses that are skinny but very long and all have a large third floor room with the window at the front and a slopping ceiling due to the roof.

South of were I was standing, you see the more industrial pocket of Milwaukee, the part that, quite honestly, terrifies me. It extends up to were I live on 20th street, goes until about 35th street or so, and then the area gets nice again. The houses go from wood and pealing pain to brick and plaster and bright colors and front lawns.

In other news, not only is the former president of our school being accused of covering up sexual abuse in the parish he worked at before coming to Marquette, multiple members of the men's basketball team has been accused of sexual assault. Nice job guys.
We are Marquette?

Edit: Now with Split Peas!

2011-04-01T16:30:00.004-05:00

Dear Lake Michigan,
Your vastness confuses me.

Best Regards,
Me.

Edit:
I have previously explained that my internal monologue is either very rational, a mentally challenger butterfly, or an inner-city thug; it would be correct to assume that the internal rational for most things I do is quite questionable at best.
Example: Tonight.
Situation: Last week I bought a 5lb bag of rice, because I love me some rice and it is necessary that there is always some in my fridge for easy access. Split Peas happened to be on sale that day, so I got a bag of those too.
Result: It's about 9:00pm; I've been to Physics class, I've been to Homestead Highschool and athletic trainer...ed like a boss, I've read over the chapter in Physics, I've taken a nap, I've been to the gym, I've eaten dinner, and now I am bored.
Internal monologue: "I just finished the last bit of rice that was in the fridge with dinner, I should make some more." When I open the cubord to get the salt, because I am impatient and YES THE TWO SECONDS THAT WATER BOILS FASTER IF YOU ADD SALT REALLY DOES [not actually] MAKE A DIFFERENCE, I see my split peas. "Hmm, maybe I should make some of those with the rice. After all, they are yellow, apparently high in fiber and protein (incomplete protein though), low in cholesterol, and would make a nice contrast if I mixed them in with the rice. 3 cups of water to one cup of split peas huh? Well one cup doesn't seem like that much, I'll just make the whole bag."
Dump
Water
Boil
What I think while rice and split peas begin to boil: "Mwa-ha! I shall feast on this for probably over a week and the fruits of my labor shall not be in vain!!"

What I end up with:

Internal Monologue: "Well what in the goddamn hell am I going to do with NINETEEN CUPS [yes, I measured] of split peas and rice?"

My internal monologue, while highly persuasive, is not very spacially oriented and forgets that both rice and bean-like things e-x-p-a-n-d when cooked. Which leads me to the mentally challenged butterfly assumption, cause I make rice like, once every 5 days.

Dear itunes,
Fleetwood Mac was an excellent choice to skip to while on random. Most of the time I am clicking on the next song button looking for something to listen to that I worry you get discouraged. I just wanted you to know you are doing an excellent job.

With auditory satisfaction,
Michelle

2011-03-31T16:15:00.002-05:00

Every now and then I wonder what would happen if I just STOPPED POSTING A DAILY UPDATE (gasp) and just went with it when I forgot my camera. Probably nothing, but there is a slim chance it would result in the end of the world, and that is not a chance I am willing to take.

So here are the two songs I've been listening to obsessively for the past three days.

Blow, by Kesha:

Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones:

They go together quite nicely I think.

2011-03-30T20:00:00.003-05:00

Hmm... Lets see if I have a picture today...
Nope.
I don't.

So let's go back through space and time, to a simpler time, an easier time, an I'm-dressed-up-for-80's-Day-during-Homecoming-Week-in-2007 time:

Hmm.. yup. :D
Oh the pre-birthcontrol-boobs, how I miss you, you wonderfully perky B-cups you.

Fun Fact: I much preferred my very androgenous small breasted, straight hipped, square shouldered pre-puberty body to the one I have know, even though how I look know would be considered much more aesthetically pleasing by society's standards.
My dad used to tell me I was nothing but muscle and tough as nails.

Although, while I was taping a boy's wrist at Homestead High School today I did cause an examination of surprise. To tape a wrist, it is easiest for the athlete to spread their fingers out at wide as they can, and then press their fingers into your stomach to help hold it steady. I got the response (from a rather tall, heavy, teddy-bear/big spoon looking black kid), "Holy crap girl, you've got some abs in there!" He then told his buddy my abs were better than those of said buddy.
I think working at Homestead will be enjoyable. Not as much as I enjoyed working with soccer or track at Marquette, but I really like working with Molly (who also went to Marquette and is the head athletic trainer there) and I really enjoy the ability to educate the kids about how their body works.
There was a surprise soccer game today, as in Molly had been told earlier in the week it would be canceled and it was not, so she let me be Totally In Charge of the training room for about and hour and a half while she went out to the soccer field. It's really nice knowing that how I behaved for the previous hour led her to believe I was competent enough to prevent disaster. I ended up outside for the last 15 minutes of the game and to help clean up, and Molly let me drive Bert, which is one of those diesel-run golf carts with the bed on the back for putting things, such as water coolers, on and hauling them around. It was fun, he was all VROOMVROOMBRAPBRAPVROOM I HAVE NO MUFFLER VROOM.

End.

2011-03-29T16:31:00.002-05:00

Dear Neighbors,
Go pick up your goddamn packages so I can stop being reminded that I am not getting mail every time I walk into the building.

No love,
Me.

Seriously, no mail for me. Not even Netflix, because I am too busy to watch either Coraline or The Notebook. Not even that fake busy I try to pass off when I'm being lazy or don't feel like doing something. Legitimate busy, where the most time I've had for the past two weeks when I'm not actively doing something that needs to get done is maybe an hour or so. (This does count sleep, however, we all know how worthless I am when I get tired.)
Ten minutes from now, I would like to be napping, but instead I will be working the corner of 16th and Wells (alllriiiiggggghhhtttt....) passing out fliers for the fund raising event at Q'doba. 10% of what they make during dinner will be given to the ATSA, so cool for us. (Think Chipolte but better.)

I also re-remembered at some point today that I am a Big Deal, and what I am learning in school/what I know makes me Pretty Freaking Cool, and you better not fucking forget it. I've been walking around like a BAMF since, listening to Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones and thinking about playing Guitar Hero in Drew's room when we first started dating.

I wore a turtleneck today. For a while there I really liked them, but it would seem I am starting to fall back into the mindset that I lived in for the first 17 years of my life, which is I HATE TURTLENECKS. However, with today's weather it is dreadfully practical, and that little triangle of neck isn't going to get cold while I'm passing out fliers.

For about 2 days I thought Inside Michelle left again. She came back in full fit-throwing rage force yesterday though, and now all I want to do is motherfucking RAVE and DRINK and have the guys upstairs tell me I look fabulous.
I worry that if I don't let her out soon, even if it is just in the confines of my own apartment, I will lose it. Perhaps that is the cause of my headaches lately, my alter-ego pounding away at my skull trying to escape.
Who knows. Either way, I have to go convince people to buy burritos.

2011-03-28T10:15:00.003-05:00

Where I come from sunny = warm. Sunny in late March = 50* and a light sweater is all you need to stay at a comfortable temperature while outside.
If you look at weather.com Draper, UT is currently 37* and CLOUDY, hence the cool temperature. On Friday Draper, UT is "mostly sunny" and slated to be 62*. Bastards.
Milwaukee is currently SUNNY and 31*. That is still below freezing. You would think that after three years here I would have figured out that I can't just look out the window and go "Hurray the sun is out!!! *twirl*" and leave in just a sweatshirt. But 18 years of that has ingrained into me pretty deep.

Also, here is the awesomeness that I created for dinner last night:
It's a Crunchy Taco Hamburger Helper, but it looks like a real mother fucking meal.
I substituted ground beef with shredded chicken, added black olives, corn, and that purple stuff you see? Cabbage. Oh yeah. For you see, one of these days I'm going to be in charge of feeding Drew, and I might as well get a head start on figuring out how to hide nutrition in his meals.

Also, I now have dinner for over a week, for about $5 total. Nice.

What you've got boy is hard to find
Think about it all about it all the time
I'm all strung up my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind

Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug
Your love your love your love
I said your love, your love, your love, is my drug
Your love your love your love

Yep, I secretly listen to Ke$ha. Deal.

Ummm... and I really like oatmeal; both the foodstuff and the website.

bla bla bla blatty bla bla

2011-03-28T01:06:00.002-05:00

In an effort to strive off what, in a tension headache induced panic, I thought was "Teh" Mono[nucliolus] I have spent quite the chunk of the past 36 hours asleep, which I mentioned in my last post. The current count is 12 of 36 hours which is... huh. Which is 1/3 of the time. Which is the amount of sleep I SHOULD BE GETTING, if you look at the 8:24 hour ratio of a normal day.
This goes to show that last week my body adjusted to only getting around 6, possibly 7, hours of extremely low quality sleep a night. Either I was waking up every 45 minutes for no reason, or having such jacked up dreams my REM sleep wasn't actually counting.
Well, either way, it is now currently one hour past the time that I am usually fast asleep, and I am WIDE FUCKING AWAKE. Awesome. It looks like I will be unnaturally tired when my alarm goes off in 7 hours, be fighting to stay awake in Physics class, and crashing for a power nap around 2pm; which will only lead to me not being able to fall asleep tomorrow night. And that Ladies and Gentlemen, is what is known as a Vicious Cycle.

To add to my annoyance of being awake, I am also hungry. However, if there is one thing that will satisfy my craving [of something of substance to fill in for the utter lack of boyfriend and snuggles because I am an emotional eater] it is toast. I fucking love me some mother fucking toast. I'm pretty sure it is a scientific FACT that I cannot live without it, or at least my life would be severely lacking.

Speaking of craving and food, there is a Jello Pudding Temptations in my fridge right now. Chocolate pudding with a chocolate truffle mousse topping. Yup. My original plan when I got two boxes last Saturday was that I would limit myself to the serving size of 1/2 cup of pudding a day. That way, between the two, I would have pudding for over 16 days. It is recommended that the pudding be spooned into individual serving glasses before being chilled in the fridge and served. Well, I don't have small 1/2 cup serving glasses. I have a 8x4x2 casserole dish. Good enough right? On the first batch I made, I even drew little lines in the topping before I put it in the fridge to thicken so I would know how big my serving was.
Instead, I would take the dish out of the fridge, look at a 1/2 cup serving size of pudding think to myself, "Well that's not worth getting a bowl dirty now is it?" and proceed to stand over the counter eating my pudding with a spoon.
Due to this particular tactic, the first box of pudding lasted me 3 days.

But I am ok with this really.
When I got back to school from Spring Break, I once again, went into Loosing Weight Mode! and decided, once again, that I would like to get back down to a weight/size/body composition that I would feel comfortable strutting around in a bikini with. That's the real motivation here, not some arbitrary number, but just feeling confident with myself.
So bam! Food Log! Exercise Log! Self Control Sort Of!
After one week I find myself lacking vegetables, but more concerning, calcium. I've upped my daily vitamin to 1/2 a pill every day. After one week I'm in a caloric deficit equivalent to exactly 1 pound of fat. I'm weighing myself and taking measurements of different body parts on Wednesdays, although I wish I could get to a scale first thing in the morning, rather than whenever I can get to the gym. But I'm also keeping track of workouts Nichole and I do, especially my Max lifts, which we will be doing twice more before summer. Currently I am at:
Bench - 120 (only down 5 lb from high school)
Back Squat - 170 (woo! best ever!)
Dead Lift - 225 (also woo!)
Push Ups - 25/min
Sit Ups - 47/min
Inverted Row - 13
Pull Up - 3
Plank - 2:13
I definitely need to work on push ups and pull ups.
But what makes me most... not concerned... is that when we did Fitness Testing and Measurement in lab last Monday, I am still sitting at 21.4% body fat. This is very low average for women of my age, who tend to sit at about 20-30%. We measured by a skin-fold test, which is not always perfectly accurate, but it is good enough for what I need.

And I'm sure all you are reading is Bla, bla, bla.

The moral of the story is I can't sleep and I needed something to do. So I talked about me. On my blog. Which is the goddamn point of this blog so stop giving me that look.

Best thing though: Massage-A-Thon goes for another two weeks. Remind me to go see my fellow DPT-5 students and get my freaking back worked on for half an hour.

2011-03-27T09:45:00.002-05:00

Last summer, Miss Sarah and I went to IKEA and wandered around looking at all the things we wanted to buy, but could not afford to, and talkd about how great it will be when we are both doctors and can walk through almost any store and just say, "I want this, and this, and that, and four of those," and just BUY THEM. She ended up getting a coffee table for her house and I bought two wonderful smelling candles, which you can see displayed above.

Last night I got home from grocery shopping, looked at my bed, and thought that I should take a short nap before going to te gym, for I could tell I was quickly sinking into IF YOU DO NOT SLEEP YOU WILL DIE mode, which is my body's way of telling me it is tired. The time was about 6pm.
At 8:30pm, I woke up briefly, looked at the clock, and decided that I would just try to go back to sleep until morning. A noble quest, I thought.
At 9:30pm I woke up again, this time not so drunk with sleep that I knew staying in bed any longer would lead me to waking up the next morning around 4am, ready to start my day. Thought about how I REALLY need to wash my hair, studied for a bit, talked to Drew, then crawled back into bed around 12:30am-1:00am.
When I woke up at 9:00am this morning, I felt wonderful. The tension headache is gone, the shoulder pain is gone, the stomachache is gone.
If only I could stop my brain from having crazydreams every night, I would feel this good all the time.

The average temperature for Milwaukee this time of year is 46*. It is currently 31*. I am fully aware the average temperature is the temperature is NEVER REALLY IS, but I'm tired of the cold. I would go for a run outside if it wasn't so damn windy.

2011-03-26T10:37:00.002-05:00

Look at me! I can juggle.

Today is the Marquette University Athletic Training Student Association's (MU ATSA) annual conference. This year we have presentations on the four main causes of Sudden Death in athletes: Cardiopulmonary distress, head injury, heat illness, and heart abnormalities; as well as having an appropriate Emergency Action Plan. We have a two hour break until noon, so I am currently enjoying a Vanilla-Hazelnut-French Roast coffee (cause I couldn't decide so I picked ALL FLAVORS!) and a blueberry muffin from the Broken Yolk, which is the most amazing, tiny, family run, breakfast/lunch place I have ever been to. Not only are the portions HUGE, but everything is so cheap I am enjoying said large coffee and muffin for under $4.

I hung out with the three girls I am going to be living with next year until about 12:30 in the morning, despite all of us having somewhere to be by 8am. I love them all. Next year is going to be SO FUN!

Drew has mentioned coming out over Easter, how nice!

2011-03-25T12:16:00.001-05:00

Went to dinner at Alterra last night with Lita. It amazes me how different the city is just two miles from where I am. It's trendy and hip and not a TOTAL SHIT HOLE.
When we left the coffee shop we saw this funny old bike. I know the picture is dark, but I'm pointing at a loaf of bread in the back basket. It was funny, we pretended we were in France.

Puddin'

2011-03-24T09:05:00.002-05:00

Apparently I poured the topping on too soon and it just kind of sank into the pudding. So I swirled it up like marble cake and now I have hard chocolate swirls in my pudding.
Be. Jealous.

Every time I become set in my conclusion to cut off my hair this summer and donate it, I wake up the next day and it is fucking perfect. Apparently last night I fashioned my bun just right before I went to bed, because this morning I had the most perfect, soft, spiral curls falling over my shoulders. So I spent extra time putting on mascara and picking out a nice sweater to wear instead of using the time to make tea.
Right about now, I would rather have the tea. I'm tired.
And I keep having weird dreams. Last night it involved my great grandma's old house (which was recently sold as she moved into an Assisted Living home) and having to make sure we could barricade ourselves in against -something-. At the time, it was much more intricate and dramatic than I'm making it sound.

4 years

2011-03-23T12:04:00.003-05:00

Happy Anniversary to us.

I have one of those Fuck You headaches. You know, the ones where it feels like someone screamed "FUCK YOU!" right in your ear and then punched you in the back of the head.
Personally, I blame my sleeping habits of the last three days. I got so used to going to bed at 3am and waking up at 10am to work out, shower, then head to Drew's house and nap until he woke up that now by the time 5pm rolls around I am so exhausted I can't function. So I go flop onto my bed and lay there for a second before my skin seems to ask in a rather upset manor, "Umm... 'Scuse me, but WARE R MA SNUGGLES?!!?" (My internal monologue can't decide if it is from the inner city or is a butterfly with a speech impediment. For example, fo'sho' is a common phrase, but what is pronounced "wut".) And I am very put out for about a minute that there is no lanky, sleep-drunk, warm boy pulling me into his chest and burrowing his face into my neck.
Then I pass out and SLEEP SO HARD for about 45 minutes, wake up, desperately want to go back to sleep, but force myself to get up and continue whatever I was doing before the Tired Demon hit.

Then of course, 11:30pm (bedtime) rolls around and I can't sleep. I think to myself "Well, I don't have class until 9, so I'll just say up and read a bit more Gen. Med." (my internal monologue is also very logical). Then I get into bed around 12:15am. Then I toss and turn and can't get comfortable until 1:30am. Fall Asleep. Wake up at 2:30am to pee. Toss and turn and huff some more. Hear my alarm go off at 7:30am and wonder why in the hell I thought getting up half an hour early to make pancakes for breakfast would be a good idea.

Then it all starts over when I get tired at 3pm cause I didn't get any sleep the night before.

Contamination

2011-03-22T12:20:00.002-05:00

Every third week or so it seems I run out of EVERYTHING at the same time. Milk, bread, eggs, ground beef, chicken, rice... Anything that is non-perishable that takes me longer than one week to go through.
Sometimes, I get lucky and whatever I've just run out of is on sale. WooHoo! So I buy a lot of it.
This past Sunday it was chicken breasts. So I bought like 8 pounds of chicken.

Once, I just put the whole package in the freezer, for that is where raw meat should live. Then I got to deal with having a rectangular block of chicken rather than a single chicken breast when dinner rolled around. Like I said, I did that once.
Now, the first thing I do when I get home from the grocery store (after putting the milk in the fridge that is) is to take my lotsofmeat! and divide it up into single servings. For ground beef, this means dividing it up into 1 lb segments, because just about everything calls for a pound of ground beef.
With the chicken though, I trim off all the fat, cut up all the breasts into (what I hope is) a 6oz. piece, put all those segments in plastic baggies, and then all those go back in the freezer.

And the whole time I'm doing this, the only thing I can think to myself is "Man, raw chicken is fucking GROSS."

And then I have to scrub down my entire kitchen three times because I am afraid of getting salmonella. Lucky, my kitchen is a 3 foot by 5 foot rectangle.

2011-03-21T12:14:00.001-05:00

Here's a picture of one of the valves inside your heart. I'm doing a project on Mitral Valve Prolapse, so it is fitting, I think.

runner girl

2011-03-10T22:06:00.001-06:00

Didn't get around to taking a picture today.
So here is me from 3 years ago running the 300 meter hurdles at an Alta track meet.
Yes, I was in first place.
I miss this so much.

2011-03-09T11:29:00.002-06:00

It's trying to snow in Milwaukee. Except it is 34* F and therefore everything is melting.
Fucking everything is wet and sloppy and slushy and melty.

Which only adds to the awesome mood I've been in for the past few days.

Got my physics test back today. I got a 48%. Which, honestly, I kind of expected. But it is still frustrating. I read the chapter, go to lecture about the chapter, go to tutoring to talk about the lecture, read the chapter again, go to lab, do the homework, and yet I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Not in a "this class is hard and I have to study a lot for it" kind of way, but in a "I don't even know what you are trying to say to me" kind of way. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I've even tried talking to my professor, but he is just a huge asshole and just tells me "You just aren't putting enough effort in. You should understand this. It is simple."
How about fuck you Dr. Collins. How does that sound? Him just staring me like I'm going to pull an answer to the questions he's asking in lecture, WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE IS ASKING, out of my ass isn't going to help me comprehend the material. It's only going to make me feel like an idiot and start crying when I leave his office.

Lucky for me the class is adjusted. It's not curved depending on how the class does as a whole, but the expectations are lowered. To get an A, you need a 87% instead of a 94%. So I'm still sitting at a C. Which, to keep me from being kicked out of PT school (or at least put on probation until I take the class again) is good enough.
The problem is, for me, good enough isn't actually good enough. I hate seeing C's on my report card/transcript/whatever you want to call it. I hate it. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and anxious.
When it comes to anatomy and physiology, I rock. I do. Last semester I got an A- in the Graduate Level Human Physiology class I took. Which is probably the hardest Anatomy/Physiology class offered at Marquette. AND I ROUND HOUSE KICKED IT IN THE FACE.
But physics?
Fuck physics.

2 days

2011-03-08T11:41:00.003-06:00

Cabbage wraps. Seriously.
They have become my favorite lunch lately. They are fun and interactive and delicious and good for you too! All you have to do is boil a few cabbage leave for a few minutes, until they are soft and moldable. Throw whatever you want in there and ta-da! you get to feel like you are at a Chinese Restaurant!
Today, they had rice, broccoli, salsa, and cheese in them. Usually I put some sort of meat in there, usually after Taco Tuesday when I have leftovers, but this week I'm trying to clean out all the leftovers in my fridge before I go home, not create more. I still have half a cabbage to eat, because I know that will not keep much longer... looks like I'll be eating lots of salad for the next two days.
It's always a delicate balance the week before I go home. My grocery shopping usually includes enough fruit and veggies to last through the week and nothing else. So far, I've been really good of cleaning out everything perishable without running out of food. If all else fails though, there is emergency soup in my cupboard.

2011-03-07T19:52:00.002-06:00

Diane always has candy on her recptionist desk in the Exercise Science/Athletic Training Department office.
We all love her for it.

2011-03-06T18:52:00.002-06:00

I am tired of studying, it's all I've done for the past two days.
Normal Sinus Rhythm
Sinus Bradycardia
Sinus Tachycardia
Sinus Arrythmia
Sinus Arrest
Supraventricula Arrythmias
Premature Atrial Contraction
Supraventricular Tachycardia
Atrial Flutter
Atrial Fibrillation
Premature Junctional Rhythm
Junctional Escape Beat
Accelerated Junctional Rhythem
Premature Ventricular Contraction
Ventricular Escape Rhythm
Accelerated Ventricular Rhythm
Ventricular Tachycardia
Ventricular Fibrillation
Asystole
First Degree AV Block
Second Degree AV Block Type 1(Wenckeback)
Second Degree AV Block Type 2(Mobitz 2)
Third Degree AV Block
Wolff-Parkinson-White Pattern
Long QT Syndrome

Are all the things I need to know for my test on Tuesday. I need to know what they look like on an EKG, and how they differ from what a normal, healthy, regular heart beat would look. I need to know whether or not you should stress test someone with each condition, why you would stress test them, and which ones you pull out the chest paddles for.

In other news, I got a golf ball from Curtis, who is on the golf team here. Now I can roll it around under my foot while I sit here and study and try to break up the scar tissue in my feet that leads to plantar facitis. It feels good in a painful way, in a kind of "I know this will make my feet not hurt as back tomorrow morning," kind of way. But every time I roll over the clump of scar tissue and can HEAR it grating around in there, I kind of want to barf. I can do scar tissue massage on other people all day long (and enjoy it), listen to and feel the "junk" that is scar tissue cracking and grinding and breaking up under my fingers and elbows. But the second it is my own body; just gross.

In more other news, I'll be home in 5 days.

good night

2011-03-05T11:28:00.002-06:00

I got bored on Thursday night and gave myself a bit of a hair cut. Nothing drastic, the length didn't change, I just gave myself bangs and took a bit of weight out of the top layer.
It looks very nice when I'm not pretending to be an angsty teenager.

Last night the outrageously gay guys (Kyle, Emanuel, John [only straight male there] and Mohale) who live above the apartment I will be living with next year threw a huge party. Just as Nichole and I were going up, Lindsey brought two guys (Ritzvik who is from India and Chase) down to use their bathroom, cause apparently there was a line upstairs. We talked for a little bit, and they both told me I was "Fabulous!" which made me feel good about myself.
We got to the door just as Mohale was yelling at everyone to get out of his house, because it had gone from a large party to a crazy cluster-fuck of friends of friends of friends showing up and that was not cool. So as we were looking out the window watching people leave (and get into fights in the middle of the street - classy, but better than in the apartment) Marquette's Public Safety shows up. Lindsey screams at the rest of the friends of friends of friends who are resisting leaving, "The fucking cops are here!" And magic could not have cleared the apartment faster.
Nichole, Ritz, and I hung out in Nichole's apartment (as Ritz and I are not yet allowed to be drunk) while Lindsey and Mohale dealt with DPS; who were only there doing their job and only asking if any Marquette students were involved with the party (maybe, but the guys and Lindsey all go to UWM - and are therefore safe from public safety citations) and if anyone was hurt, unconscious, or refusing to leave. Mo and Lindsey are good at PR and thanked DPS for coming cause they had been trying to get everyone to leave for a while at that point.

After that we all hung out upstairs for a good three hours, having drinks and chicken sandwiches cause Kyle walked into the living room around midnight and said, "So I just made about 12 chicken patties, and you bitches are eating them." (Kyle is about 5'10'' Puerto Rican, and has the type of build that could be very muscular and build like a fucking bull but instead is just kind of fluffy on the outside - just so you can picture this). So we ate chicken and after that I sat in the kitchen with Lindsey and Ritz and talked about our relationships for another hour.

The moral of the story is I can't wait to live with Nichole and Lindsey and Marie (who was seen briefly) next year, and live below Mohale, Kyle, Emanuel, and John. They are all very nice people. John was chivalrous enough to walk with Nichole and I as she walked me home, then walk her back to her apartment; we all just think he wanted to spend more time with her though, which was cute.

Now, to be responsible until my birthday. I think I've found a nice balance with this.

Babies

2011-03-03T11:46:00.003-06:00

My cousin Nathan and his wife Jen are being induced today! I'm so excited to have a new baby cousin to play with, and specially glad I get to meet him when I go home in two weeks when he's still a tiny newborn.

So I got an honorary niece in January.
A cousin in March.
The girl who was my mentor freshmen year who graduated last may is having a baby in four weeks.
I'll get another future niece at the end of May.

Oh, and Ryan. But no one likes him anymore.

That should set back my internal clock for another, oh I dunno... seven to ten years. :P

2011-03-02T22:35:00.002-06:00

At Marquette, all students living in the dorms are required to have a meal plan, but it is also available to all students. In the dining halls, you swipe your card as you enter, so the attendant there knows you have a meal plan and have access to the dining all. With the meal plan, you can swipe into a dining hall whenever you want (while they are open) and have access to everything in them.
However, in the Schroeder Dining Hall, the seating area is also a 24-hour study space. You can either enter one door, get a meal, and then swipe as you enter the seating area, or you can just enter the seating area without going through the serving area. The drink station for this dining hall is in the seating area/24-hour study space. So you can bet your ass I've started doing all of my studying in the dining hall of a sophomore dorm where I have unlimited access you coffee.
Do I feel bad for drinking the dining hall's coffee despite not having a meal plan and therefore not specifically paid for it? Absolutely not. I give Marquette $30,000 a year; they can give me a cup of coffee a few times a week.

2011-03-01T07:37:00.001-06:00

There is this couch thing in the women's bathroom on the first floor of the Life Sciences building. I'm not really sure why, personally, whenever I have felt like having a lie-down between classes, I have never thought to do it in a bathroom. I have however, seen girls put their backpacks and coats on it.

And now I'm just realizing this picture kind of looks like it was taken from a movie about a crazy mental hospital or something equally creepy. I promise that is not the case, and it is just the angle of where in the bathroom I am standing.